Well it was particullar hard on me. I had only been married a month when i found out i was pg. Id had been waitng children for years and before i met DH i had even went so far as to regester for IVF. When i met DH we instantly clicked i made it very clear before we were even serious i wanted children asap. He agreed he already had 2 kids of his own which i didnt care for, i didnt want the instant made family but there was just something about him and my common sense was chucked out the window. When my lease was up we moved in together i lefted the dc metro area for richmond va ( i lived there in college and didnt like it), that was about 6 monthes before we got married. I went back to my old obgyn and was precribed clomid the first 2 rounds didnt work and i i gave up on that because it wasnt worth my breast hurting so bad that i couldnt wear a bra. So the next month we natrually concieved, i was exsatic, dh on the other hand began to freak out about future bills but thats just the way he was i knew he was really happy. I fekt so my happiness and joy, and most of all love for the child that i could bearly contain myself. I was litterally one of those obnoxious happy people, like everything was comming up roses.6 weeks and 2days later it was literally the worst day of my life , this toped when my father died and finding my grandfather dead! It was like God had forgot me,dh was stressed from work so he wasnt really there for me, and my DR was HORRIBLE all he did was tell me there was nonthing he could do and told me to schdule and appt for him in 2 weeks to see if my hormon levels were comming down. But what really made it bad was 2 weeks prior we annouced at my familys christmas that we were pregan my mom was SO excited she litterly started to plan the baby shower right then and there and tried to take me to mimi maternity! The week after my miscarriage my sister calls me Very upset i thought my mom told her what happened but no she was ccallin about my 18 year old niece she found out that she had been hiding her pregency for 7 monthes i couldnt belive she would call and compane to me about this not even a ful week after the mc, i just found it very heartless. She could have called our other sister. Anyway that was the ast straw i couldnt hold in the pain and the tears anymore starting crying my eyes and all the time DH looked at me like a was crazy. Maybe men just dont understand because untill you show its more of a privet tihng my mother told me when i called to ask her to come home for a bit. Anyways I have a pharmisit firend who gave me a big botle of wellbutrin and it made it bearable but i began to write again something i hadnt done in years and i began to pray harder than ever. I can talk about it now and not cry but here i am almost 5 weeks again I cant get happy about it, its like i cant get excited to love this child , its almost as if i gave all the love i could possibly give to the first child. Whats this happened to anyone else? I have a shorter verions of this in pg after loss entitled where has my joy gone. Sory for this being so long
I am so sorry for your loss, but i am glad you have found us here in your grief. This board is a wonderful source of support for many women suffering through the loss of a baby at many stages of pregnancy and after birth.