DH and I attended a local (annual) memorial service for deceased children for the first time. It was very touching and beautiful, brief and symbolic. I cried through much of it, with DH being very comforting -- as we held our 4 little candles they provided us with. We then lit them, and also put Alex, Sam, Max & Kim's names onto tags that went on to a Tree of Life.
At the end of the service, the candles were returned to us so we now have them at home.
I've been in touch with the celebrant already, because I want to see if she will allow me to share her words here -- they were exceptional. I'll keep you posted!
I highly recommend attending such a service in your own areas. Ask at your local hospital or city council. It was very moving, and there was a strong sense of love, connection and community.
I wish you all a very peaceful and relaxing Christmas.