I am very nervous/apprehensive about tomorrow. The hospital where we had Rebecca is having a dedication/memorial service for all babies that were lost this year. They have a wall placed in which the babies names will be on them. Well today while thinking about tomorrow I became anxious. I thought this memorial was what I needed to move forward but I am scared about how I might feel tomorrow. What if it brings back all the painful memories of her birth and loss. I am come so far and I don't want this to negatively effect me. Since I am so worried about it, should I not go? If I don't go will a be even more depressed that I let myself down once again? I am torn as to what to do?
For those of you who know me my anxiety and depression were horrible, it has been better but only for about 1 week now. I don't want to do anything that will trigger it again, but I need to remember my daughter in someway.
Thanks for listening.