Miscarriage and Feeling Numb (Update and Questions Post #10)

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newlyhughes's picture
Joined: 04/26/07
Posts: 10
Miscarriage and Feeling Numb (Update and Questions Post #10)

I'm still pretty numb at this point and am not sure how/what I'm feeling, but I just wanted to introduce myself in case you ladies see me lurking. My name is Rachel, DH is John, and I am recovering from a D&C performed yesterday afternoon. On the 30th, DH and I went into our normal appointment with my OB's office. We were excited about hearing the heartbeat because we'd just seen the heartbeat at an ultrasound during our appointment at the beginning of the month. This month has been one tragedy after another for us, and the baby was one of our few glimmers of hope.

So after checking for the baby's heartbeat on the doppler and not finding it, my OB scooted me into the u/s room just for "peace of mind" since they weren't busy (I LOVE my OB's office). After getting into the u/s room the tech found no heartbeat. At 8 weeks 2 days, our baby stopped growing. I was nearly 10 weeks.

I opted for the D&C since I really didn't want to go through the process at home. My family was wonderful - my mom came into town to be with me and DH and the IL's sat in the hospital together the whole time I was back. So far I'm not feeling much pain other than dull pressure, but I haven't been without pain meds since 10:00 yesterday morning. I'm not sure what else to say. My support system has been wonderful, but I just feel empty. Thank you ladies for reading - I'll be back periodically when I'm able to understand more of this whirlwind.

Joined: 11/14/08
Posts: 105

I am so sorry for your loss! Your story actually reminds me alot of my own. In November we were scheduled to go in for our first u/s appt at 10 1/2 weeks. It was on a Friday. That Wednesday night I began bleeding so we went in on Thursday for an u/s and they didn't find a heartbeat. Our baby was also at 8 weeks. I chose to have a d & c but I actually had a natural m/c as we were leaving the clinic that day. I still had to have the d & c a few days later to remove excess tissue. I know how hard this is but it will get better in time, even though it may not seem like it right now. You are in my thoughts and prayers! If you feel ready, come join us on the Trying to Conceive After a Loss Board. It's an active board and everyone there is so supportive. Not everyone there is trying to conceive yet. Hugs!
:bighug:

newlyhughes's picture
Joined: 04/26/07
Posts: 10

Thank you so much - I too had experienced light spotting but had gone to the doctor when I first noticed around 6 or 7 weeks. That's why we'd had the u/s earlier in the pregnancy and got to see the baby's heartbeat. I'm so shocked because I hadn't experienced spotting since then and this was to be a "normal" appointment.

Thanks for the offer of the other board - DH says he wants to TTC as soon as it's safe, and I'm feeling the same way. I may lurk for a while until my body and my heart get back to some sense of regularity. Hugs to you, too. Smile

deedeew80's picture
Joined: 11/14/08
Posts: 12

Hi! I'm sorry for your loss. I too just found out about MC yesterday. I began light spotting early in the evening Tuesday so I called the Dr and they were very reassuring. I already had a reg scheduled appt for Friday so they said to just keep an eye on it & they will see me then. Well, later that night the bleeding got heavier & brighter, along with some slight cramping. So, I called the Dr again & they said to come in the next morning, but everything could be fine, not to worry too much. (Yeah right!!) So I started preparing myself for the worst! Yesterday morning we went to the Dr and first the Dr examined me & said everything looks fine, my cervix is closed, so that was good. Then they took me to the ultrasound room. They couldn't get a heartbeat & the baby was measuring at 6 weeks 4 days, when I should be 9 weeks. So basically the baby just stopped growing Sad I wasn't too surprised to hear the bad news, I just knew something was wrong when I saw blood. But of course, after getting home, it hit me. Anyway. At first I decided to just let nature take its course, but now I think I'm going to get the D&C done. I just don't think I can handle going through all the pain & everything else associated with it. I just want it done & over with. This is basically my 3rd day of bleeding & I still have yet to see any clots. My cervix is closed, so I'm assuming not much is able to expel yet. I really didn't want the D&C because of the risk of scarring the uterus. But I just can't handle this anymore & want it over with. DH wants to try as soon as its safe. But I think I want to wait a little longer just to make sure. Maybe we will try again in March or something. Well, again, I'm SO sorry for your loss. I know what you are going through and I hope we don't have to ever experience anything like it again.

Joined: 11/14/08
Posts: 105

"deedeew80" wrote:

Hi! I'm sorry for your loss. I too just found out about MC yesterday. I began light spotting early in the evening Tuesday so I called the Dr and they were very reassuring. I already had a reg scheduled appt for Friday so they said to just keep an eye on it & they will see me then. Well, later that night the bleeding got heavier & brighter, along with some slight cramping. So, I called the Dr again & they said to come in the next morning, but everything could be fine, not to worry too much. (Yeah right!!) So I started preparing myself for the worst! Yesterday morning we went to the Dr and first the Dr examined me & said everything looks fine, my cervix is closed, so that was good. Then they took me to the ultrasound room. They couldn't get a heartbeat & the baby was measuring at 6 weeks 4 days, when I should be 9 weeks. So basically the baby just stopped growing Sad I wasn't too surprised to hear the bad news, I just knew something was wrong when I saw blood. But of course, after getting home, it hit me. Anyway. At first I decided to just let nature take its course, but now I think I'm going to get the D&C done. I just don't think I can handle going through all the pain & everything else associated with it. I just want it done & over with. This is basically my 3rd day of bleeding & I still have yet to see any clots. My cervix is closed, so I'm assuming not much is able to expel yet. I really didn't want the D&C because of the risk of scarring the uterus. But I just can't handle this anymore & want it over with. DH wants to try as soon as its safe. But I think I want to wait a little longer just to make sure. Maybe we will try again in March or something. Well, again, I'm SO sorry for your loss. I know what you are going through and I hope we don't have to ever experience anything like it again.

I am so sorry for your loss too! The choice to have a d & c or to m/c naturally is a personal choice so do what is right for you. I had a natural m/c and then had a d & c a few days later. I chose to have the d & c but then I had the nautral m/c before it was scheduled. I had to go back for another u/s and there was still tissue so I ended up still having the d & c. Now that I have gone through both I wish that I could have just had the d & c. There is some risk associated with it but for me it would have been the better choice. The natural m/c was very painful and it was very difficult to see all the blood and tissue. Then I found out that the embryo was passed during the natural m/c so I felt like I flushed the baby down the toilet. If they would have taken it out during the d & c the clinic would have buried it. I just thought that I would share my experience with both. My dr. told us to wait 2 months. By that time I will have had one normal cycle and be more emotionally ready. Wait as long as you need to. I understand what you are going through! I wish you the best!

newlyhughes's picture
Joined: 04/26/07
Posts: 10

Thank you all for your support already, and even though I hate that any of us have to meet under these circumstances I'm glad that there's a place where we can support each other. Hugs to all of you!

Tomorrow I stay home by myself for the first time as DH returns to work and my mom has gone home, so I'm sure I'll be around a bunch tomorrow. Good night all, and tonight I'll be hoping for a peaceful 2009 for all of us. :bigarmhug:

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

Oh Rachel, I am so sorry to see you here (remember you from all my bb hopping. Wink ). Your story sounds very similar to my second loss. I had bleeding and an u/s at 7wks, and we saw a beautiful beating heart. 2 wks later at my first ob appt, the doc could not find the baby (I have a very tipped uterus) so at the u/s the next day, no hb. It was absolutely devastating. I too chose to have a d&c. I waited for a natural m/c the first time, and waiting for something terrible to happen is just torture. I am glad that you have had good family support, it is so needed.

Joined: 03/20/07
Posts: 36

So sorry for your loss....hugs....

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so sorry for your loss.

With my first lost I delivered at 16 weeks and ended up with a d/c because of the placenta. With my 2nd lost I was 7-8 weeks and it was a blighted ovum so I had a d/e. It is a personal choice on what you want to do.

Allow yourself time to grieve before you begin trying again. Usually they say at least 1 natural cycle after the d/c.

newlyhughes's picture
Joined: 04/26/07
Posts: 10

*Update - Possibly TMI*

Not sure why I'm writing this, but I feel like telling SOMEONE. DH is super supportive, but really just doesn't understand.

Today is day 5 after my D&C, and the pain is finally here. I only took my pain medication for about 36 hours after the surgery because I didn't really feel anything other than mild pressure, and thank God for that. I had three T3's left and took one at 7 and another at 11:30 tonight. I may take another one before I go to sleep. The bleeding isn't bad, but I've passed one large clot (maybe 1 1/2 inch in diameter) and a few medium clots in the last three hours or so. The cramping is so bad that for a while I just laid on my side on the couch and moaned and panted and had numbness/tingling in my legs. The pain meds didn't hardly take the edge off of the pain. It's subsided for now (the pain and the clots), but should I call the OB tomorrow? Ask if it's normal for a sudden change? Ask for more pain medication in case it returns? (This seems SO unlike me, but then again, this whole last month has been whack-o.) Thanks for listening, ladies. Anyone else experienced this or have advice?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Honey, call your OB. You may still have some tissue that they missed with the D&C. I did not have much pain after any of mine. Hugs.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm so sorry about your loss. I also recommend calling your doctor with as much pain as you're describing.

We just experienced a loss as well. I started spotting last Monday and called my OB. We went into the doctor for an u/s on Tuesday. I hadn't even had my first appointment yet -- I was almost 7 weeks. They found a yolk sac but no embryo. I knew that I was far enough along that they should have seen an embryo even the doctor tried to tell me, "well, depending on when you actually conceived, that may not be significant." I braced for the worst. I started miscarrying on Wednesday, at home. It was eerily like labor with my son, who is now 2. It felt like contractions. I passed some tissue and a few smaller clots, then one particularly large one that I am quite sure was the baby itself. Sad It was just awful. Thursday was so strange -- contractions just like you get after a vaginal delivery when your uterus is shrinking back to size. I'm still bleeding but only lightly now. I have another u/s tomorrow to make sure everything has passed.

I really don't know where I stand on TTC right now. Part of me feels like I can't get pregnant fast enough. Another part of me wants to wait. We weren't actually even trying this time -- it was a complete surprise. A happy one, of course, but quite a shock. We got used to the idea in an instant after finding out, though. We had planned on waiting until after a wedding I am in in June to start TTC #2; the bridesmaid's dresses that the bride selected are being discontinued and I didn't want to have to guess what size to buy or worrying about not fitting into it at the last minute. Now, however, I feel like "who cares about a friggin' bridesmaid dress?" Creating a new life with my husband is more important than whether my dress fits. We will definitely follow whatever advice the doctor gives about waiting to get pregnant again, but now I don't think I'll go back on birth control.

Joined: 11/14/08
Posts: 105

I also think you need to call your dr. I had a natural m/c and the pain that you are describing sounds similar to that experience. I had a d & c a few days after my m/c to remove leftover tissue and I didn't have much pain after the d & c. I was prescribed methergene to shrink my uterus back down to normal size and that caused pain but other then that it was pretty painless. Hugs!

newlyhughes's picture
Joined: 04/26/07
Posts: 10

Thanks, girls. Called the OB and she said that it was "unlikely" that I would pass any more clots like that or have that type of pain again - probably just blood that collected after the D&C that was passing. I see her again next Wednesday - my HCG levels at the time of the D&C were 17, and they'll check again next week at my follow-up to make sure they're down. Tonight just cramping like regular AF cramps....nothing that a sweet DH and a heating pad can't tame. Thanks for listening, all - you've already given me so much support and it's wonderful just to have a place to talk. :bigarmhug:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm glad the cramps are getting better.

deedeew80's picture
Joined: 11/14/08
Posts: 12

I too have an update....

First I would like to say sorry that you are/were going through such pain. I'm glad to hear it's getting better.

I had my D&C yesterday, Monday. I had been bleeding since last Tuesday & had only passed very little clots & some small tissue. But I had a lot of cramping. Anyway. After my D&C I had some light spotting for the rest of the day & some light cramping. Today I have hardly any bleeding but still some light cramping. My Dr did give me 600mg Motrin, but I haven't taken that, just been taking 2 Advil as needed. My Dr didn't say anything to me about maybe experiencing severe cramping or anything. She just said if I have any severe bleeding to call. I'm a little worried now. They said I could return to normal activity today. I'm going back to work tomorrow. I feel fine. But now I'm worried if this will happen to me in the coming days. I hope not. I go back for a follow up on Jan 20th. I hope everything is ok. There was one thing that my Dr told me though that I thought was strange. She said I can expect to get AF anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 months! What?!! I might not get it for 3 months!!?? She said it depends on the person. Everyone is different. I think that's a bit weird! Anyone else?

Things seem to be getting better each day. There's not a day that goes by I don't think about my baby. It is hard for me when I see another baby or another woman that is pregnant. But I'm hoping in time that will subside. Well, thanks for listening. Hope everything is well with everyone else.

Joined: 11/14/08
Posts: 105

"deedeew80" wrote:

I too have an update....

First I would like to say sorry that you are/were going through such pain. I'm glad to hear it's getting better.

I had my D&C yesterday, Monday. I had been bleeding since last Tuesday & had only passed very little clots & some small tissue. But I had a lot of cramping. Anyway. After my D&C I had some light spotting for the rest of the day & some light cramping. Today I have hardly any bleeding but still some light cramping. My Dr did give me 600mg Motrin, but I haven't taken that, just been taking 2 Advil as needed. My Dr didn't say anything to me about maybe experiencing severe cramping or anything. She just said if I have any severe bleeding to call. I'm a little worried now. They said I could return to normal activity today. I'm going back to work tomorrow. I feel fine. But now I'm worried if this will happen to me in the coming days. I hope not. I go back for a follow up on Jan 20th. I hope everything is ok.
There was one thing that my Dr told me though that I thought was strange. She said I can expect to get AF anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 months! What?!! I might not get it for 3 months!!?? She said it depends on the person. Everyone is different. I think that's a bit weird! Anyone else?

Things seem to be getting better each day. There's not a day that goes by I don't think about my baby. It is hard for me when I see another baby or another woman that is pregnant. But I'm hoping in time that will subside. Well, thanks for listening. Hope everything is well with everyone else.

I had a d &c about 2 months ago and I was back to normal (physically) after a couple of days. As far as when AF returns, it depends on the person. It returned for me after 6 weeks, and from what I have read from others, this is about average. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about my baby but it is getting better. You may still have bad days, but the good days will outnumber the bad days in time. Hugs!

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

glad things seem to be getting back to normal (whatever that means) Rachel. Hope it stays that way.

deedee, 3mo seems a very long time. I don't know anyone that has waited that long and not had their doc prescribe provera to bring on af. I got af 36 days after the d&c, both times.