Miscarry naturally?

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
Miscarry naturally?

I have a question - right now I'm in limbo-hell-land where the Dr. wanted me to miscarry naturally. It's been 8 days, and no sign of anything. I was ok for a bit, then I went to see another Dr. today who was checking up on me and I realized how freakin' HARD this is, waiting. I kind of just want to get it over and done with already, I'm already panicking thinking of what I'm going to go through when it does happen.

Anyways, she said she can give me some pills that I can insert on my own to cause contractions. I don't know what to do... can I survive this if it lasts another 3 weeks?!?! (she said it could take up to a month!) I know I can "survive" but how much should we be willing to go through?!?!

I'm seriously considering taking her up on that offer, then I know when it's going to happen and I'm not going to be in the grocery store or something.

I guess I just want to hear others stories(if you're willing to share of course) on how things went for you. My last m/c was totally obvious, cramps-bleeding-m/c, end of story. All over within a couple hours. I have no clue what my body is doing now...

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Hun..I was reading in another post that your baby stopped growing at 14.5 weeks? That seems like too far along to me to expect someone to M/C naturally. And it's been 8 days...and she expects you to wait up to another month?! That is far too much to ask someone to endure. I would go and see another doc to try and get a D&C.

(((((HUGS))))

Kati

Joined: 11/30/07
Posts: 117

Hun, im so sorry you are going through this. I have been where you are now (although I was not as far along as you - I was 9 weeks when I found out the baby had died) I waited a week to miscarry naturally and it did not happen so they took me in for d & c. It really was the best thing (out of a terrible situation) that could have happened. I dont want it to sound like im telling you what you should do, but if I was you there is no doubt in my mind that I would opt for d & c. Its so painless, you are asleep, and when you wake up you will just have a little bleeding, and slight cramps. I really think that given how far along you were, to go though m/c naturally would be very traumatic. (IMO) I also dont think I would opt for the pills, I considered this option, but sometimes everything does not come away like it should, and often women still need d & c anyway. From an emotional point of view, you cannot begin your healing whilst you are in limbo like this. I just walked around in a daze between finding out the baby had passed away and waiting for my d & c. It was so bad for my state of mind. Where you are now really is the hardest place to be. I would really consider looking in to the d & c, do some research on the internet etc. For me, it was almost painless, and was all over very quickly, and I was back home that night. The dr told me they do lots of d & c operations all the time, and it really is a minor operation (of course not emotionally) with very few risks. I honestly think if the baby passed away quite a while ago and you have not miscarried yet, it could go on for longer. I dont think this does any good for your emotions, its simply too hard. Of course this is just all my opinion, you must do what is right for you as every situation is different. Please pm me, if you want to ask me any questions or if I can help. Sending you much love, support and comfort at this difficult time.

Joined: 07/27/06
Posts: 722

Im sorry for your loss. I had a mc at 8 weeks, and although I bled pretty heavy for a week, the baby stayed inside my uterus. I have other kids, and my dh travels. I was waiting for the major cramps and super heavy bleeding, it just never came. I finally just told the dr I couldnt wait any longer, I couldnt be home with a medical emergency, and if I was already bleeding pretty heavy and the REAL mc had not happened, I couldnt imagine how much worse it was going to get. I had a d&c. It was completely painless. I had no pain after and only a few days of spotting after. I also didnt think I could handle seeing what came out of me. Even if it didnt look like much but tissue, I was afraid to see it. I know its a hard decision. I was very happy with my decision after waiting so long for it to happen. (I had found out 2 weeks before that the baby probably was not going to make it based on the hcg findings, but the baby's heart stopped just 2 days before I mc even though I was bleeding). I hope whatever you decide, you heal quickly and are able to mourn and find peace soon. amy

bb0924's picture
Joined: 12/08/06
Posts: 1

I am so sorry you are going through this! I had a still birth 10 years ago. we found out he was gone and they induced my labor the next day. However I had to have a dnc after his delivery. These ladies are right it is really very simple. You go to sleep, wake up and it is done. Depending on how long it has been since your pregnancy ended it can become a health issue for you. I personally would feel like a week plus the time since the pregnancy actually ended was long enough for my body to respond. In my case they estimated my son had been gone for 3+ weeks and my body was not naturally going to m/c. Hope this is over for you soon.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Thanks everyone. I did have a D&C with my first m/c, and although it went ok, I really dont' like the idea of it. I would rather my body do it naturally, even though it's mentally hard at times. It won't be easy to see the baby, but I feel I do need that to move on. I don't want to regret NOT seeing it a few months/years/whatever down the road. I do trust the Dr.'s who are telling me that it is the best way to go about it, but if I want, they will help the process along. Ah, I guess I'm just having days where I have emotional meltdowns and I know how having a D&C or some other intervention would just end it all. Why the hell doesn't my body do what it's supposed to NOW?!?! Or maybe it does know what it's doing, and it's just not time yet...

That said, I have been having more regular cramps over the last 24 hours. I think I'll give it till the weekend and then make a decision.

Anyways, thanks for your opinions, they help me see clearly through the haze.

Joined: 07/27/06
Posts: 722

Im so sorry you are going throught this!! I understand needing to see the baby to move forward with healing. Take care of yourself as you heal!

Joined: 11/13/06
Posts: 161

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I can't even imagine knowing it's going to happen and waiting for it, not knowing when. At the same time, I'm sure a D&C is awful, too (I had a ruptured ectopic so no experience with either situation). Just want to give you ((((HUGS)))) as you cope with this.

StephanieJune's picture
Joined: 01/19/08
Posts: 103

:bigarmhug: I am so sorry that you have to make this decision. Losing your baby is hard enough without having to choose between a D&C and miscarrying naturally. I had a quick and easy natural miscarriage (physically anyway), so I never had to make this decision, but I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Hopefully it will end over the weekend, so you won't have to decide after all.

KaellyNicole's picture
Joined: 12/27/07
Posts: 219

I am so sorry you have to make this decision! My first three loss were all "natural" losses. Very obvious, because they were all before 9 weeks. My last loss, was my son, who was about 12.5 weeks (he died somewhere around 9-10 weeks, but my body never recognized it). Because of our move the same week (From Kentucky to Germany) I was forced into a D&C or they wouldn't let me fly.

The D&C wasn't as bad as it could have been. It was still a little painful and it took a lot longer to be given the "go-ahead" on TTCing again. There was a pill option, that a friend of mine took after her m/c and she had no issues.

Good luck with your choice and know I am praying for you and your family!