5 days ago I started spotting brown. I got my Beta tested that day and it was about 23,000. Sounds fairly positive...lots of women spot, and 23,000 was not too shabby of a number for 9.5 weeks (although could have been higher), which is what I'm supposed to be.
I waited out the weekend and then today I went for an ultrasound. After long silence, the technician told me my baby was measuring 6 weeks with no visible heartbeat. She was asking about my dates...could they be off?... I tried for this baby so I have my dates down to a T. I know for sure I conceived April 28. I found out May 12. So there is no way I could be 6 weeks or even 7.
This was my first pregnancy, and I am 34 and a half.
Anyway, I've spent the day crying on & off. It's the first day, and it's quite a shock to stop thinking of yourself as pregnant and seeing your future differently. I know if the pregnancy has a major (chromosomal, i.e.) problem, miscarriage is the body's way of halting its continuation.
But I am learning that this is far more than an emotional issue - major decisions to make! Not-fun decisions!
What do I do? Well my doctor (GP) is on holidays for 2 weeks (figures) so the first thing I'm going to do is call my midwife, who I haven't even had my first appt with, sadly, and get her advice. Then I'm going to get a second ultrasound, just to make sure.
Then....?? I have the kind of job where if I don't work, I don't get paid. I am a (consultant...so, self-employed yet I answer to a company) music teacher and musician. This is the end of the school year so I have lots of 'final lessons' to do. I also have gigs starting July 1st that I have committed to and for which plane tickets have been bought! So the smart thing to do, financially, would probably be to get that D&C asap, so that I can do at least some of my lessons and all of the gigs.
But I don't want to do the D&C if it's too risky - I have no kids yet and would really like one or two. If there's a chance I could scar and mess up my fertility I'd rather cancel the work (work is work) and let it happen naturally.
I know I'm going to get some help to make my choices tomorrow, but I can not sleep so I thought I would ask on some boards. What did you do and what do you think makes the most sense? i am also afraid to take the pills because I hear that can make the miscarriage more painful and possibly incomplete.
Yeah....it's 4:30, the birds are starting to chirp, and I have not slept!