Missed Miscarriage - Living In Limbo

27 posts / 0 new
Last post
Malenkaya's picture
Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 54
Missed Miscarriage - Living In Limbo

My entire experience this time around has been difficult and and the medical support I've received has been less than impressive, so I'm here now to share and basically try to get it out of my system.

My LMP was May 29th. I had two betas run immediately (I'm 36 and have had 2 previous m/c.) The first one was 226 and the second was 1054. The doctor thought the first number was low (without a point of reference) and the second was "fine." I knew they were both high based on how early I was and when I had the first u/s, they dated the pregnancy a week smaller than what I had thought it was, making the betas look even higher in comparison. When the doctor dated the pregnancy she ended up calling the days the betas were drawn as days 4 and 8 DPO. Absolutely ridiculous but she said she "wasn't concerned." Well, that made one of us.

The first u/s was 7/21 and the pregnancy was dated at 6w2d and heartbeat was 107. Six days later they repeated, found 6 days of growth, dated 7w1d and the heartbeat was 162. Doctor said everything was perfect. For me it felt like something was off from the beginning.

Started to spot a bit of brown blood on 8/11. Went to the doctor on 8/13 for "peace of mind" and the u/s measured the baby at 6w5d and there was no longer a heartbeat. I had to wait an entire week after that to hear from my doctor (I saw the "on call" doctor that day and was told my regular doctor would call the next day). I was told I could wait for my body to do it naturally or have a D&C. In talking with a nurse before actually hearing from the doctor I was told of the medication I could take to push my body to finish the process. I decided to take that route as I really don't want the D&C unless it becomes medically necessary.

I took the first dose on 8/21. Very little happened. I was out of town from the 24-29th, so I wanted to try the medication first. I stopped spotting completely and this past Tuesday I was given another dose - a higher dose this time. Again, very little happened.

I now have a call in to my doctor (although it's going again to an "on call" doctor as my doctor is out) to see if they will give me a third and possibly higher dosage.

Anyone ever had this problem with a missed miscarriage? My concern is that my body, for what ever reason, won't do it on it's own and doesn't seem to be taking any cues from the medication either. I will have the D&C if it comes to that, but I have had a natural m/c before and would prefer that than the shell out he $3000 it will cost with the insurance to have the doctor do it.

I'm tired, I'm stressed and hate living my life in limbo.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. :bigarmhug: My situation was different than yours so I'm not sure what advice to give. Is the medication they are giving you called Methotrexate?

Malenkaya's picture
Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 54

Thank you. It's actually Cytotec (or more specifically the generic called misoprostol).

I switched doctors today and spent half an hour on the phone with the new one this evening. She wants me to wait one more week and if I haven't naturally passed everything on my own (or induced by the drugs, won't be able to tell at this point) she wants to schedule a D&E. She does the suction rather than the scraping, which is what I was really trying to avoid. She's also very much about letting your body do it naturally, but she has a time limit (a month from knowledge of the loss) to prevent infection. She has the attitude and points of view that I share and I felt very comfortable with her, so I'm happy with how I believe she will handle it from here.

She was very apologetic about the other doctor and I have high hopes of a good doctor/patient relationship with her.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

My last miscarriage was like yours. I started to bleed though with the high beta numbers. It slowly dropped over 3 weeks time. It was a horrible experience and I felt very much in limbo land.

I am so happy that you have found a doctor that you trust. Having a good doctor is a huge part of the process.

I am sorry about your loss but hope the process is as painless as possible.

Sending you hugs.
Robin

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

That's great news that you found a good doctor:D KUP on how everything goes.

Legal Gal's picture
Joined: 06/24/09
Posts: 56

So strange. My LMP was May 28th...and basically had the same timeline as you, with bleeding starting the same week (around 8/10). I, too, lived in limbo for several weeks but chose to be hopeful. I guess it is just good to get all the medical stuff taken care of so it is easier to move on (if there is any way to make it easier). Somehow for me, the D&C was less traumatizing that I thought it would be. But my body did start to m/c on its own.

Good luck and I hope you find peace with whichever process occurs.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

:bigarmhug: to everyone!

Malenkaya's picture
Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 54

*child ment*

Thank you ladies. I'm kind of a mess right now, dealing with not only the m/c, but also with the fact that my birth board (from my DD, not on this site) for some reason has decided to turn on me because of the "m/c that is lasting forever." This is a group of ladies I've communicated with almost daily for close to the last 2 years. And it's not just about the m/c, but my life in general. Suddenly one of them says "I don't believe 99% of what comes out of your mouth." The fact that I worked in Hollywood many years ago, gave birth to my daughter at home - after the hospital sent me home - and now this stuff with the doctor and the "m/c that won't end." So suddenly I'm a liar and I never did anything to these people so I'm completely perplexed by the entire situation. I've never been anything but honest with these people and after being shown some of my "inconsistencies" I promptly responded to each and every one, pointing out what they misread or providing the information that was apparently left out so that they would understand what I was saying did not contradict something else. I thought these boards were about sharing and support, but they all turned into animals ready to attack. And their timing could not have been worse.

I just feel lost after the entire incident.

BTW, I now have an appointment with the new doctor on Tuesday and a D&E scheduled with her at an outpatient facility on Wednesday morning.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am sorry honey, do I need to beat someone up? I have had a CRAPPY few days and it will feel good to punch someone. :bigarmhug: With friends like that, who needs enemies?

Unless someone has had a loss, it is hard for them to understand how many areas of your life it has impacted. Hang in there honey and feel free to post as much as you want here.

Malenkaya's picture
Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 54

Thanks. I think I'm doing alright. The sad part is that some of these people have had m/c before. The one who started it, I honestly don't know her history. But I've now been banned from the board for sharing the fact that they treated me like crap.

I feel like I should just let it go, but I didn't do anything wrong. It's very frustrating.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

Oh hun I'm so sorry they treated you that way. That's so wrong. And I know how painful it must be because you shared part of your life with them and shared your joys and struggles relating to your DD. I have a 2-yr old DD also, so if you like we can share via PM since you no longer have that birth board to share on. Also, check out the "TTC 2nd time or more" board here on pg.org (if you haven't already)
:bigarmhug::bigarmhug: :bigarmhug:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I don't get it. Why would they kick you off? I did not think they checked and double checked what anyone says. You need support right now, not judgement. Stay here as long as you need and want.

Hugs.
Robin

Malenkaya's picture
Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 54

"rh1430" wrote:

I don't get it. Why would they kick you off? I did not think they checked and double checked what anyone says. You need support right now, not judgement. Stay here as long as you need and want.

Hugs.
Robin

It's a private board and it's against their rules to cut and paste on a public board what someone says on a private board. I didn't cut and paste, but it comes down to the interpretation of the rule, which is that I shared that I was poorly treated and they can't come and defend themselves. Gee, they attack me and they can't defend themselves here. What was I thinking? They weren't all that concerned with how what they said affected me. It's not like I named names so anyone here knows who I'm talking about. If I was in their shoes I wouldn't care unless I was called out by name or I knew I had done something wrong that I felt needed defending. And obviously I haven't named names....

Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 66

Oh man, I'm so sorry for everything you are going through...the m/c, living in limbo and being treated like crap from your birth board.

My LMP was May 24 and I found out the baby had no heartbeat at the 12 week 4 day ultrasound. I lived in limbo for about a week (I agree, it was torture), then I took the misoprostol. Unfortunately, it caused me to hemorrhage (hemoglobin dropped to 83) and I needed a D+C anyway. The surgeon who performed the D+C said, "I don't know why they told you to take the misoprostol. I just give D+Cs right away to prevent this situation (of excessive bleeding)." If my hemoglobin had dropped to 79 I would have had a blood transfusion. Hopefully, it will happen to you naturally before your Dr. appt. but if not, you may want to ask what the odds of hemorrhaging are.

Malenkaya's picture
Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 54

"photogalv" wrote:

Oh man, I'm so sorry for everything you are going through...the m/c, living in limbo and being treated like crap from your birth board.

My LMP was May 24 and I found out the baby had no heartbeat at the 12 week 4 day ultrasound. I lived in limbo for about a week (I agree, it was torture), then I took the misoprostol. Unfortunately, it caused me to hemorrhage (hemoglobin dropped to 83) and I needed a D+C anyway. The surgeon who performed the D+C said, "I don't know why they told you to take the misoprostol. I just give D+Cs right away to prevent this situation (of excessive bleeding)." If my hemoglobin had dropped to 79 I would have had a blood transfusion. Hopefully, it will happen to you naturally before your Dr. appt. but if not, you may want to ask what the odds of hemorrhaging are.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and that things did not go smoothly after that. What I'm having Wednesday is not a D&C, it's a D&E. My choice was to try to have everything happen naturally, and I was dosed the misoprostol twice. The last time I took it I doubled my last dose on my own because it was doing nothing. My new doctor doesn't even do D&Cs, she does the D&E, where they use suction instead of scraping. It's her opinion that the natural process is the best option and she doses the misoprostol to attempt that (although for me it was the old doctor who prescribed it). Failing that she does the D&E. What I was trying to avoid was the scraping so I'm glad to have found a doctor that does this procedure instead.

I've really learned a lot about doctors and how different their approaches can be to something you would think would have a pretty standardized response. It's really all about finding a doctor you feel comfortable with that shares your views on how much intervention you want to have.

Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 66

Hmmm...interesting.
What is a D+E?
I had a midwife, so the natural way is the way she recommended, but since I photograph weddings for a living I didn't want to wait it out and potentially miscarry during a wedding.

Malenkaya's picture
Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 54

"photogalv" wrote:

Hmmm...interesting.
What is a D+E?
I had a midwife, so the natural way is the way she recommended, but since I photograph weddings for a living I didn't want to wait it out and potentially miscarry during a wedding.

D&E stands for "dilation and evacuation." So instead of dilating and then scraping out the uterus they use the little suction thing so there is no scraping. It's supposed to be safer and much more gentle. I've never had either before, so this is what my doctor has told me.

Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 66

Hmmm..interesting. I wonder if that's what I had, since they told me they were going to use something like a vacuum cleaner.

Malenkaya's picture
Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 54

It probably was. I think the term D&C is used pretty widely, like Kleenex means a tissue or in the south if you want a Coke and then they ask you "what kind." Blum 3

Joined: 05/12/09
Posts: 86

D&E (dilation and evacuation) is usually what is used for a late-term m/c....Or at least that is the terminology I'm familiar with. Dilation and suction, or suction aspiration is what is generally used before 12 weeks. D&C, dilation and curettage, which is the scraping, is really not used much anymore. The term D&C is often just used as an umbrella term for all of those. But what I've learned (med school) is that the D&E is used only for later m/c or terminations, and does involve suctioning but takes a couple of appointments for a couple other things. But for earlier m/c it's probably a D&S.

Malenkaya's picture
Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 54

All I know is that my new doctor specifically told me she does not do D&Cs, just D&Es. So these are the terms she used. Tomorrow at my appointment she said she'd give me a pamphlet about the procedure she uses so I should have more information then.

My old doctor and the on call doctor I saw the day I found out both referred to doing a D&C. Could be that the new doctor is just more specific on terminology.

Malenkaya's picture
Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 54

I had my appointment with the doctor this morning. They drew blood and are running a lot of tests - I honestly don't have a clue what all of it is for. I guess I'll find out when the results come back in. She said that would probably be about a week. They also did an u/s to make sure I still needed the procedure. It showed the baby now measuring 6w3d. Everything was still there - the fetal pole, yolk sack and embryo. I'm still amazed that two separate dosings of misoprostol over a week apart did absolutely nothing.

We will also have tissue tested from the procedure tomorrow and when AF returns the doctor is ordering an HSG as well. I certainly hope I can get some answers from some of it, although I'm not sure what kind of answers I can even expect to get.

Has anyone here had this kind of testing and they found something they could treat?

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

"Malenkaya" wrote:

I had my appointment with the doctor this morning. They drew blood and are running a lot of tests - I honestly don't have a clue what all of it is for. I guess I'll find out when the results come back in. She said that would probably be about a week. They also did an u/s to make sure I still needed the procedure. It showed the baby now measuring 6w3d. Everything was still there - the fetal pole, yolk sack and embryo. I'm still amazed that two separate dosings of misoprostol over a week apart did absolutely nothing.

We will also have tissue tested from the procedure tomorrow and when AF returns the doctor is ordering an HSG as well. I certainly hope I can get some answers from some of it, although I'm not sure what kind of answers I can even expect to get.

Has anyone here had this kind of testing and they found something they could treat?

Hope the D&E goes smoothly, Anastasia, and that you can get answers from the bloodwork. I'm not sure what kinds of test she might be running, my doctor said nothing about that, she just said that because of my age it's probably a chromosomal issue (I'm 41). Maybe someone else here knows something?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Thinking of you. Let us know how things go.
HSG usually is done to see if the tubes are open, which if you got pregnant probably are. I had one done as I had a heart shaped uterus and they wanted to know if there was a septum, which there was not. But, they should be able to pick up anything abnormal on the U/S. Keeping you in my thoughts.

Malenkaya's picture
Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 54

I arrived at the hospital a little after 6:30 this morning for an 8 AM procedure. Up until I spoke with the anesthesiologist I wasn't sure what to expect as far as if I would be knocked out completely or not. I was told I wouldn't be, then that I would. Then the anesthesiologist said I would be. They injected the stuff into my IV and then wheeled me into the room and the next thing I knew I was being told to wake up because they were finished.

My SIL ended up going with me (DH was supposed to but that's a story for another day) and she spoke with the doctor who told me my insides were "beautiful." So she didn't see or feel anything odd. It will probably be a week before we start getting answers on tests, but things are in motion.

I felt a bit of cramping when I woke up and I'm pretty groggy. I was told I would feel this way all day. I haven't taken any medication because the cramping doesn't seem to be that bad, but I know I can should that change. So I'm just laying low today and hopefully when this all wears off tomorrow I can start working on feeling normal again.

Thanks to all for your support and as I get more information on test results I will be sure to share what I learn.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am gald things went well. I have had 3 D&Cs and never had any problems. Sending hugs.

Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 66

Wow, I am amazed you can get results in the US!!! I have never heard of anyone getting results in Canada. I'm glad your D+E went so well. I wish mine had been that 'routine'-I'm still recovering and it's been 2 weeks (but I lost a lot of blood beforehand).