Mothers Day vent thread..

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Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456
Mothers Day vent thread..

I thought this thread may be a good idea...

Huge :bighug: to all the ladies on this board (lurkers to!) ...You were all the best mommies ever to your lo's for as long as you had them....You will all be in my thoughts tomorrow...Be good to yourselves mom's...

Lets hear it ladies....

The good...

The bad..

The ugly...

Anything goes on this thread ladies (within preg.org guidelines of course :wink:)

Marie

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Last weekend was the 1 year anniv. of losing my 2nd LO. I named him Beckett. I couldn't keep it together last week at church seeing ALL 3 of the recent pregnant bellies, all of which are due within a month of my EDD for LO #3, Cade. I ran out of the service crying. Tomorrow being mothers day is only going to make it harder....

Sapphire Sunsets's picture
Joined: 05/19/02
Posts: 671

:bighug: to everyone.

The good? I've been back at work now for almost 3 wks after being on leave since the end of Jan.

The bad? Tomorrow (of all FREAKIN days!) is the 2 yr annvi of my sister delivering her stillborn son Brendan. I was supposed to be there this wkend but couldn't get out of working.

The ugly? The thought of being a widow before 2008 is over terrifies the living crap out of me. DH had triple bypass surgery the end of Jan, and needs more surgery probably in July/August.

Joined: 03/13/02
Posts: 23

Lurker, very much a lurker still. My loss happened in July 1999 so it's been a while longer for me. Recently my ds and dd discovered photos of their brother and they asked what happened. Now they tell everyone the meet that they have a brother.

The good...I understand now much better than I did before that pain passes, eventually.

The bad...that people hide their pain thinking they are doing others a favour.

The ugly...thankfully I don't have any ugly.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Interesting thread!! Okay...

The (very) good: that this board exists (I am SO grateful).

The bad: that it still hurts when (unknowing) people suggest I try for another baby.

The ugly: that our grief lasts so much longer, because of society's message that we should 'just get over it'.

TyrantOfTheWeek's picture
Joined: 12/26/05
Posts: 1147

The good...Um, let me think about this one...NOTHING!

The bad..My 7 month old has a double ear infection, I ended up in the hospital because I got really suicidal. I can't get that Avril Lavigne song "When You're Gone" out of my head...Do I need to go on?

The ugly...I can't go back to work until I complete a day treatment therapy program which is like a week away, no work= no money. I miss my DH more than I ever thought possible.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I sometimes find it hard to find the "good" - but just yesterday I did. I was walking around our new property with my loyal, awesome dogs (who make me sane somedays!), and realized just how much I totally love it there. We had a nice peaceful walk to the river, the sun was shining and it was only me and the dogs there, enjoying the day. That one brief happy moment, made me realize that if I can find that one tiny moment of joy every day in any form, then I can get through this crappiest time of my life. I'm going to aim to do that everyday from now on.

Tyrant - you DO need to go on! And you CAN go on!! You will make it through this even if it seems like it's impossible. Those wonderful kids of yours need you more than you know. I can relate, I have been there recently too, during my darkest most depressing hours, thinking "why even bother going on??" It seems like it would be so much easier, but to those you leave behind, you will leave a hole and pain you can't imagine. Please, get some help and talk to someone, even if it's us!! That is what we're here for, and mostly realize you are not alone.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Hey Tyrant,

I totally agree with Cabin Dweller... feeling like you want to leave this world is normal during horrific crisis. But you CAN live with these feelings and thoughts. I promise you -- grief lessens big time -- it WILL get better. And your kids DO need you -- sorry to be so blunt, but they wouldn't be able to wrap their heads around it if they lost daddy and then mommy so close together. Equally blunt (very sorry): but adults who take their own lives teach their children to do the same....

Okay, enough tough love! Sweetheart, maybe you need to see a counsellor -- we all need extra help from time to time. Especially with grief. Let someone else share your burden: what do they say? "A problem shared is a problem halved". Very corny, but true.

And we're here for you -- unload on us! We're going to help you through this.

Love,
Nicole