Well, I gave birth to Reid in November (stillborn) just shy of 20 weeks and now my April due date is approaching and I find it difficult. I was due on April 15th and I have counted every day, every week as if I still was holding him in my womb. I miss him so much and I can not help but imagine everyday how I would be feeling, what I would look like right now and soon what it would be like to have him in our existing lives. As this day approaches it gets more difficult... anticipating his "Due date".
Dd 2.5 yo
Reid born sleeping 11/22/08
dh & I 16 yrs
I'm sorry. Sending hugs......
Due dates are hard. I know how much you must wish to hold your son. Maybe you should do something special on that day to remember Reid. With spring coming maybe you can plant a tree in his honor. My SIL did this for her twins she lost at 24 weeks. She is able to care for the tree and it reminds it reminds her the they will always be around.
Hugs and prayers hon. Due dates are so rough. I agree with Missy, do something special to remember him. I'm sure it would be great for your kids as well.
I agree with the previous posters. Due dates are one of those "trigger dates" that may be more difficult to get through.
I really do recommend doing something that will help you celebrate the life of your son. Taking charge of that day for me allowed me a sense of "control" when I otherwise felt so very helpless.
Forgive me for copying / pasting but below are just a few additional suggestions for you to consider. There are all sorts more -- and none are right or wrong. This is YOUR's to choose what you would like to do.
(((((HUGS))))))) Please know you and Reid will be in my thoughts and prayers. If you need to talk or just want someone that understands -- know we're here for you.
- Buy books and dedicate them in memory of your child and donate them to local library or hospitals.
- Have a bear or quilt with his name -- that you can hold.
- Buy and name a star from the International Star Registry, so that you can see it shining.
- Donate money to an organization related to the circumstances surrounding your child’s life/death. For example, you can create a virtual bracelet in Reid's name with the March of Dimes.
- Buy a memorial brick in your city’s square, or a memorial plate at a local park and have it engraved with your child’s name.
- Have a holiday ornament personalized with your baby’s name that you could keep and thus include in your holidays in the years to come.
- Plant a rosebush or tree in honor of your child.
- Buy/make a necklace or bracelet with your child’s birthstone on it or a grieving bracelet.
- Light a candle on special days and let it burn. Blow it out to symbolize letting go and remember its warmth and glow.
- If you were not able to obtain a birth certificate, make one with counted cross-stitch or obtain a "Recognition of Life" Certificate.
- If the weather permits, plan a picnic outside or take a walk in a place that brings you peace.
- If you belong to a particular church - you may talk with them about offering a prayer / memorial service for those that have suffered pregnancy / infant loss. Organizing this may bring a sense of healing to far more than yourself!
- Write a letter / poem to Reid.
- Blow bubbles outside. Watching them float may sound silly but in a way it too offers a bit of healing.
- Consider volunteering as a means of honoring Reid's life. Some ideas include the "Adopt a highway" program where you could sponsor a mile or quarter mile to keep clean; maintain a particular garden spot at a park or someplace -- even at work in his memory; with a local hospital to help organize a grief group for those that have suffered a similar loss.
- Have your child's name inscribed in the Book of Life in the Church of the Holy Innocents, located in New York City. A Shrine in the church is dedicated to children who have died unborn. When you send your child's name and birth date, you will receive a certificate and pictures of the Shrine.