I guess I need to do one of these things, even though I hate them. I feel like I'm walking into a room full of people who are all having these interesting conversations, and then I stumble in and interrupt them all.
My name is Karen, I'm 40 y.o. and have lost two babies since Sept. 07. The first due to an ectopic pregnancy; the second just last week when it was discovered that my baby's heart had stopped beating somewhere around 11 weeks.
I had a d&c this past Monday and am still dealing with the physical 'side effects' (bleeding, cramping, etc.). I had thought the bleeding had stopped, but I must have pushed myself a little too much yesterday, because things started up again.
We're waiting for the genetic test results to see if there is any answer for us as to why this happened.
DH and I haven't decided yet if we plan to TTC again. We spent 3 years TTC, only to have both end in heartache. I just don't know if my heart is up to the task, and I really think we need to do some healing before we make any decisions.
Right now, I fluctuate daily between sadness, frustration, and anger. I never knew anything could be so painful and consuming. I sometimes think it would be easier to simply not care, but for me, that's impossible.
Y'all can go back to your regularly scheduled conversations. Thanks for listening.
I am so sorry for your losses. You are not interrupting anything. Feel free to write whatever and whenever you want. The ladies on this board are amazing. I lost my daughter over 9 months ago. It does get easier but it takes time. Please join in whenever you want.
Again I am sorry for you loss. Remember to be gentle with yourself and give yourself the time YOU need to heal.
Last edited by rh1430; 03-28-2008 at 09:57 AM.
Moderator of the pregnancy and infant loss support board
Karen...my heart breaks for you I am so very sorry for your losses
Right now you need to heal, as much as one can when one has suffered loss/es...You will know when/if you decide to ttc again, in time...For now..Just focus on getting through the day, and know that we are all here for you
Post as much as you need...Even if your post makes no sense...we will understand and be right there to support you...
If you ever need to talk? Feel free to pm me...I was older when I experienced most of my losses (most of them started at the age of 41, I am on the verge of 44 now..I have had 9 losses) ... I know your fears...
But number 10 made it...I now have a son, Kaden...He is a bit over 10 weeks old.....No real answers for all my losses....Just a miracle of healing that was in Gods Will to happen....However it comes about..I am hoping the same will happen for you..
I am very sorry for your losses! I know nothing I say will make it any better... and it took me a very long time to heal over the loss of my son. We lost him in March of last year and it wasn't until his due date passed that I could even look or deal with pregnant-type stuff. (((HUGS)))
I am sorry for your losses. I had a natural miscarriage on February 1. I was 8 weeks along. I hope that you have a speedy physical recovery, and that you can get the test results back soon, so that you can have some closure and begin to heal emotionally. I have found that over the past couple a months each day has gotten a little bit easier. Maybe someday I will be able to look at a pregnant woman or new mother without being consumed by jealousy. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please feel free to post any time you need to.
I'm so sorry for your losses.
I have also had 2 losses since 9/07. I was shocked at both the physical and emotional toll it had on me. It's been 2 months since my last loss, and I'm doing significantly better. We all heal at a different pace, but I promise that you will feel better in time.
I hope you find comfort and support here.