my story (m/c ment)

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cassiehelge's picture
Joined: 06/08/08
Posts: 14
my story (m/c ment)

I was on the February board, but am now over here. I feel that I will be able to share my story and get help and reassurance from others on here...
My DH and I went in for a regular checkup today. I should have been 15 weeks 5 days. Things were going good - blood pressure and weight were good and then it was time to hear the heartbeat. My doctor couldn't find it but thought for sure she was hearing the baby kicking. She tried for about another 5 minutes and said that I should go down for an ultra sound. I immediately started crying and DH was trying to be strong (its his birthday today too ) We had to wait half an hour and as soon as I got down there I looked at the screen and the baby wasn't moving. I lost it... My DH lost it... The ultrasound tech quickly got the measurements of the baby and the baby measured at 13 weeks 5 days. I just don't understand what went wrong. I didn't have any cramping or spotting... i just don't get it.
I am having a D&E (like a d&c but since I was farther along its a d&e) next week. I am scared/nervous. If you have been through this, it would be helpful for me to hear your story and ease my mind.
Thanks for reading.

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

I am so very sorry for your loss, and how terrible to find out on your dh's birthday. Hugs and prayers. I have not had a d&e, but I have had two d&cs. My advice, take it easy, take the pain meds, and give yourself time to grieve.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am SOOO sorry that you are having to deal with this! Its just unfair! Sometimes crappy thing just happen to good people and it isnt nice at all! Please take the time to grieve, do something to remember your baby, maybe get a little stone, a plant, a knicknack or figurine. I found it really difficult to talk with people IRL but really needed to talk, this is a great place for that. I had a D&E, but was scheduled for a D&C, but they just call it differently in the clinic and in the hospital I think. I think its just what my doc prefered, Im not sure. But it was the same as a D&C but they suctioned instead of scraped is what the nurse was saying. She said the recovery is the same. THey may have to dilate your cervix more. I found that I was sore, inside, because of the cervix being dilated, it was kinda hard to sit right on my tush but I when I slouched it was better. I felt really great the day of and the day after the surgery but a few days later I was really bloated, crampy, gassy, and just plain hurt. It may have been from all the Ibuprofen or from doing too much. I found that Ibuprofen was fine during the day, and I took the pain meds (tylenol with codeine for me just cause Vicodin makes me sick) at night which helped me get to sleep and stay asleep longer. Emotionally it takes awhile, its different for each person. Do what you need to do for yourself.

Im so sorry that you are having to go through this aweful pain. No one should have to. we'll be praying for you and your family. Big hugs! Come talk with us when ever you need to!

Joined: 08/18/08
Posts: 7
I am so sorry

I am so sorry for you loss. Stay strong and know that you have this board with all these amazing women to help.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so sorry for your loss. I had the same experience as you -- it comes as such a horrific and total shock, especially when there was no sign before that anything had gone wrong. It's like a nightmare.

I had a D & C because I was a bit earlier along than you. I was scared when they first recommended I have one, but I asked some medical people I know and trust -- two GP's and a nurse who all assured me that these are very gentle procedures and so commonplace (this is good because they've had a lot of practice, you see). So I relaxed then, and it all went fine. I trust it will for you too, and that you'll recover well.

Please write in here as often you need to -- this is a very caring community here, and we are going to help you and your DH through this.

Great big bear hugs,

Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 835

I'm so sorry. I had a d&c (suction) last week at 11 weeks after finding out that my baby had died. It was my birthday the day of the d&c and it does really suck, though I'm trying to think of it as a day that I can also now remember my lost babe every year.

Like pp I was sore ok the day of and after the d&c. I didn't start getting sore or bleeding until a few days later. Just remember to try and take it easy, talk if and when you need to and give yourself time to heal. I'm so very, very sorry.

shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

I am so very sorry for your loss. You are definitely in the right place to receive support and comfort. I have no experience with D&E but wanted to offer my deepest condolences.

Please come here to vent, cry, complain, whatever you may need.

squirlyj's picture
Joined: 11/06/05
Posts: 121

I'm so sorry to see you over here. I was due in early Feb and lost my babe a bit ago.

You may want to think about what you want to do with your baby. I'm not sure about after a D&E (all my m/c's were natural), but you can ask to see him/her, which I would recommend. Take pictures and mementos (footprints and hand prints), as you will treasure these things later.

I'm so sorry things have gone this way. It's not an easy road.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

So sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my LO (this past March/April) at 16 weeks but he/she only measured about 14 weeks. I had a D&C after complications, and it went fine. I'd suggest not to see the LO after that kind of procedure, my Dr. recommended that it might be too traumatic (due to the removal method). It's up to you thought, but something to think about...

It's so much to deal with at once, I know how you feel... hang in there.