Hi my name is Robin. I was on this board for a long time and then moved to TTC after loss. Well I don't know what has caused me to slide backwards but I am having anxiety attacks again. They aren't as bad but I am scared that they could be.
For those who don't remember I had my miscarriage June 18 2007.. I delivered my daughter Rebecca early at 16 weeks because of a incompentent cervix.
Well it took a long time for the grief to finally subside, but it is back it could be because of her anniversary date. I was fine on that day or it could be because of everything I have been through in the last 2 weeks.
I finished teaching June 10th and had to have surgery June 12th for fibroids and polyps. My dog was really sick and at 17 years of age wasn't getting any better. My husband had to carry him out to use the bathroom and up and down steps. We put him to rest on June 14th. June 15 was fathers day, although I was very sore from surgery I tried to make my husband feel good. He may not have a living child but he is a father anyway. Then June 18th came, I thought I would be a mess but I wasn't. We took a balloon to the hospital where they have a memorial wall up and her name is on it. We were going to send to balloons up to her but we had a thunderstorm and pouring rain that day so we couldn't. Now for about 5 days I have been having panic attacks. I shake and have hot and then cold sweats. I know it is anxiety because I was off from work for 6 months with them after I lost Rebecca. What I need I guess is some support. Some friends to talk to that know what I am going through. I thought I was going to be alright through all of this but I guess it was more than my body was ready to handle.
I hate anxiety and panic and I do not want it to take my life over again.
Thanks for listening to my rant. I have therapy at noon today so I hope she can put some insight to this for me. Any suggestions from you or even just a kind word would be appreciated.