And I'm not sure where to put it - so I am going to start here.....
I need to send out a big Thank You to someone who's post I saw when lurking around on the boards. I am not sure if it was on this board, or maybe TTC after a loss, or could have been a birth board - I wish I remembered the poster's name, so I could send her a thank you, and I could be sure she would see this!
The post I am referring to was about whether or not to find out the gender when pregnant.
This person posted about how she was so happy that she had found out that she was having a girl, and that they had named their baby girl, because when they lost her at 30 wks, she had the 10-12 weeks of 'knowing' her baby girl, as that person, and had made (I wish I could remember the name) a part of their family from the point that they found out.
This post hit home to me when after 4 m/c I found out I was pregnant just after Christmas of last year. When we had our 19 week u/s I explained to my DH that it was important to me to find out 'who' was in there. We found out we were having a girl!
I finally told my DH about the post I had seen when I was having trouble getting him to talk about names. I explained to him that it was important to me that we name this baby, cause as sure as I was that everything was going to be okay, this was still the longest we had had a baby in the 2+ years we had been TTC (since having our DS, who we had with no problems).
Much quicker then I had expected we agreed on a name, and our sweet baby Payton became 'real' to me. From that day on she wasn't 'the baby' she was Payton, and we loved her dearly.
When I was 33 weeks, something didn't feel right, I couldn't remember the last time I had felt Payton, and went to the hospital to get checked out. Payton's heart had stopped. We came to find out that there had been a cord accident that caused her heart to stop beating.
I miss her everyday, and I know that pain will never go away - but I am so so so greatful for that person who posted about her baby girl. I cannot imagine trying to name her in our great sorrow, and I am so glad for the 14 weeks that I had with my daughter, even if they were all with her inside.
I am not posting this to convince anyone that they should find out the gender, if they don't want to. I genuinely am indebted to the person who made that post, and hope that somehow she comes across this post and realizes that she has helped me tremendously.