Need to vent and don't know where else to go (preg ment)

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shadow_grey's picture
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Need to vent and don't know where else to go (preg ment)

I'm 4 weeks past d&c. I've had ongoing issues the whole four weeks. Bleeding, clots, cramps, etc. Started seeing an acupuncturist who did treatment to stop the pain and gave me a herbal drink to help 'clean me out'. The cramping stopped about 2 weeks ago and I passed a large clot on the weekend which I hope is the end of that. The bleeding stopped about 24-36 hours later and my bbs are now completely back to normal.

Needless to say it has been a very long, emotional 6 weeks or so and I really haven't been able to move forward. My DH is adamant he doesn't want any more children now which has just made me feel the loss all the more. Plus, I haven't had the opportunity yet to really deal with this and move forward. I have an appointment with the gyn next week to get the karyotyping results. That will be my last appointment. My doctor wanted to refer me to a fertility specialist but there is no point if I am not allowed to have any more children.

I found out a friend was pregnant the week I found out about the loss. I have been completely avoiding the girl as I just don't want to see her happiness.

Another friend, who is well aware of the ongoing issues and the trouble I have had dealing with everything sent me a text message today. With a picture of her ultrasound showing her healthy baby and announcing she is pregnant. Is it just me, or was that completely and utterly insensitive. Ugh. Over it. Over life and being dealt crummy hands over and over again.

AlyssaEimers's picture
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I am so very, very sorry for your loss. :bigarmhug: Give your DH time. He may change his mind. I know after each of my losses he was shy to try again.

sandy1007's picture
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In understand where you are coming from. I had to delete a friend from fb that just found out she was preg right after I found out I lost mine. I felt bad for being upset with her because it took her almost a year to concieve and this is her first preg so she thinks she has every symptom (even ones you don't have till 2nd or 3rd tri) It got too anoying and hurt too much so I just sent her a message explaining that I deleted her and that when I was ready to see those things I would friend request her back. She totally understood and was not upset. maybe send a text or something of that nature to those girls and maybe that will help you and then will also let them know what is appropriate and what isn't to tell you. I am just wierd in the fact that i can handle posts/conversations by people that are not due close to when I was but anybody that is I cannot stand and just makes me want to cry.

I also agree to give DH time. For one a loss effects everybody differently and makes some men gun shy.(they never want to think that they have any issue down there or may have caused an issue with the baby) I can't say that I blame them. Also it will not help you to grieve properly if you are focusing on that too. Just try (I know it is hard) to focus on one thing at a time.

shadow_grey's picture
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Thanks ladies