need to vent (loss ment)
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Thread: need to vent (loss ment)

  1. #1
    Posting Addict shellyhudson's Avatar
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    Default need to vent (loss ment)

    As many of you ladies know already, we are in a lawsuit over the loss of our precious Damien.

    We had to wait six months after filing with the navy before we could file federally.

    Our six months is nearly over and our lawyer is moving forward with the case. Well, he contacted me yesterday about some paperwork that he needs. For the federal filing, he needs a copy of the certificate of fetal demise. Here comes the vent.....

    I really really hate that term. I hate the word fetus. I know that it is a medical term and technically correct but I still hate it. That was not just a fetus and it was DAMIEN'S DEATH not just some clinical case of fetal demise.

    As everyone on this site can attest, that is our baby from the minute we know of their existence.

    I just hate the callous and cold and impersonal nature of that term. There could be nothing less personal than the death of my sweet child.

    Okay, I am going to step off of my soap box for now.

    Shelly

  2. #2
    Posting Addict tina_haley_n_beanz_mommy's Avatar
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    I hate it too. They are living beings whether they make it 40+ weeks or not. They are living and hence they are part of me and mean something. I just wish there was a better way to approach it. Just like when they fill out certain info they put Baby So'n'So. No she had a real name. Use it.

  3. #3
    Posting Addict shellyhudson's Avatar
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    I so get what you mean about the baby so-and-so stuff.

    All of the paperwork kept saying Baby Boy Hudson.

    His flippin' name was Damien.

    I just want to scream it from the rooftops. I realize that there has to be some detachment being in the medical arena, but please, ice water in your veins is not really necessary, is it?


    Thanks for your reply. It sucks to have people fully understand what I am going through but it is also comforting to know that what I am feeling is not completely off the wall.


    Shelly

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    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    I can understand that would hurt alot.

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    Mega Poster HopefullySoon's Avatar
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    I hate how they try so hard to make it not personal. They have to detach themselves from it. I am a real believer in the truth. The real truth always comes out if you keep on with persistence. This court case will be so hard, but just take things a day at a time.
    I love when anyone says my baby girl Zara's name. It is so special when I hear them acknowledge her as a person. It is like a song to my ears.
    Take care of yourself. You are a good mom.

  6. #6
    Posting Addict KaellyNicole's Avatar
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    I agree! Just like the term "sponteous abortion", they both irk me to no end! I'm sorry I don't know the details behind the loss of your son, but I do hope whatever is filed goes through and you get what justice you're looking for!

  7. #7
    missy8632
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    They are all unfeeling medical terms. I'm sorry they could not be more feeling. We all know he was your baby. They are babies from the time the sprem and the egg meet.

    As much as it hurts, it is just a medical term and you need to let it go. I am sure it will not be the last time you hear this during the law suit. I'm praying for you!

  8. #8
    nicoleballinger
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    Hi Shelly

    I'm so glad you chose to vent about it, and that you've received lots of empathic responses here. Me too: I really feel for you -- I remember the detached and clinical way my ob/gyn spoke. So darned factual, I just wanted to scream in his face (but I resisted...)

    Damien is your son, and you are his mommy -- period.

    I'm sorry you have to go through legal dramas too: I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope the legal matter passes as soon as possible.

    Big hugs,
    Nicole

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    I'm sorry Shelly.

    It'd be nice if they werent so freaking insensitive. I know when we got Savannah's report back and it said 'un named fetus Quinn'- I was pissed.

    ((HUGS))

    Karen

  10. #10
    Mom22Boys+1Angel
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    I know what you mean. I can't stand the terms missed abortion and products of conception. HATE HATE HATE them. I am so sorry you have to deal with insensitive terms like this for even longer.

    I hope you get some resolution. KUP, ok?

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