Never expected to be here(m/c children mentioned) LONG
I just found out this past Saturday that I was pregnant. DH and I were both thrilled. On Wed,I had this gut feeling that something wasn't right. Even though I had literally taken 3 digital tests that were positive and about 6 or 7 others that were blazingly positive,I took another that was barely registering a line. I had a beta done Wed night and got my results yesterday morning that it was 10. While my doctor was optimistic,I knew there was no way in h*ll that I could get these positives over the weekend and then have a level of 10. Yesterday I started getting really bad cramps and spotting. I got a 2nd level done today and it was a 2
I had no idea that something I had only known about for less than a week could hit me so hard and be so devastating. It's amazing the way the minute I saw that first positive on the digital test I immediately fast forwarded to 8 mos from now.
I know how incredibly lucky I am to be a mom to wondeful children,but,this still hurts so much.
The other thing that has impacted this whole thing is that my BFF IRL has been struggling for 12 cycles now to conceive a 2nd child. I had so much guilt over becoming pregnant after 5 cycles and now here I am. She also just found out today that she's not pregnant after her 2nd IUI. Strange how life works.
Thanks if you made it this far. I just had to get this out somewhere.
Oh Alyson, I am so very very sorry. I don't care how long one is pregnant, it hurts terribly, because even for that week, you have hopes and dreams. If you ever need to talk, I am available. I appreciated so much your sweet pm when I had my recent loss. You are a sweetheart. Hugs and prayers.
Oh Alyson, I am SOO sorry! I was so upset when I saw that you had posted on here!!
I agree with the other ladies that regardless of how long you knew about baby, or whether or not you have other children, it still hurts, and it hurts bad! Let yourself grieve, you need it. Losing a child is something people cant understand unless they have been through it, so if you dont have anyone IRL to share with, Id say this board will be a very good place for you to share. The ladies here helped me greatly!! Its a very "lonely" experience to go through, so please do whatever, say whatever you feel like you need to in order to make you feel better.
Again, Im so sorry for the loss of your child, feel free to pm me if you need anything at ALL!!