Never thought I'd be posting on here (m/c ment - child ment)
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Thread: Never thought I'd be posting on here (m/c ment - child ment)

  1. #1
    Posting Addict MrsSchepp's Avatar
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    Default Never thought I'd be posting on here (m/c ment - child ment)

    Ok, well, I guess I'm posting on this board. I naively thought I could never end up here I'm Heid, 25, and DH and I have 4 beautiful sons: 4 year old Brodie, our twins Deacon and Truman are 3, and baby Sawyer is 8 months. We were thrilled to find out we were expecting #5, I got my BFP on March 31. Last wednesday I noticed some light spotting and it was still there the next morning. I decided to go to the ER and that is when I got my devestating news... the baby was gone. Nothing on the u/s and the blood test was negative I was shocked and so, so sad. Friday was the worst...cramping, bleeding, etc. Today is better...physically anyway. I just feel so sad I know I should be happy that I have the children I do (and I am...I love those boys) but I was already so attached to the pregnancy and since I have never suffered a loss before and never had any complications with my other pregnancies....I had let myself become totally absorbed in this new one. I guess my question is...does it get better or do you just learn to deal with the pain? I know I have so much to be thankful for, but I feel like (at least I hope anyway) that God has one more precious LO out ther for us. Thanks for reading this far....I'm so sorry to all of you who have suffered a loss.....it is horribly cruel....

  2. #2
    BrookeL
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    I am so sorry that you have had to experience this.
    I felt the same way you did before I had my misscarriage last month. It was so easy to get pregnant and I had no complications with my son. I just assumed this pregnancy would be the same.
    I think every person is different. In my experience, it does get a little easier. It has helped me alot to read other people's stories on these boards and just know that it happens to other people and they are able to move on.
    Hopefully when you and your husband are ready you will be able to have another precious baby to join your family.

  3. #3
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    I am so very sorry that you lost your baby

    Does it get better?? Yes, in the sense that you learn to deal with the pain....You are now a mom of 5...one being in heaven...

    I am saddened that you ended up on this board...I wish loss never happened...I wish this board never had to exist...

    Regardless of how many earth bound lo's that you have....This does not make the hurt of losing a baby less painful...I am so sorry that you ever had to experience it..

    Thinking of you..

    Marie

  4. #4
    nicoleballinger
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    I am SO sorry for your loss. You're right that you're blessed with your living children (so am I), but this wonderful fact doesn't seem to make it any easier when we lose a baby. Loss is loss, grief is grief -- period. I'm so sorry you now 'qualify' to be here, but you'll find this to be a community of healing and love. This board has helped me MUCH more than anything else in terms of working through my grief.

    Please keep posting whenever you need to (we all do from time to time): it really helps.

    There are many other ideas we can suggest to you, to help you shift through the grief -- just ask, and you'll get LOTS of suggestions you can choose from. They all help.

    Personally, I've found it does get better -- though I still love my angel babies as deeply as I love my earthbound ones. But the pain does diminish -- for me, it's almost all gone now (I suffered my last loss in Dec. 2005 -- so it's been a while).

    Everyone's experience is different, but for so many of us, it does get better with time. It just doesn't seem possible right now, because your grief is so new. We care, and we're going to help you through this.

    Love,
    Nicole

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    Contributor ace4765's Avatar
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    Last edited by aQTforever; 01-27-2009 at 02:55 AM.

  6. #6
    Jennval
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    I am so sorry for your loss I remember you from the August 2007 boards (I lost my Aug 07 baby.) There is great support here, and always someone to listen. Take care (((HUGS)))

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    I am so sorry for you loss. I lost my baby girl at 14 weeks this past March. I like your self never thought I would be here, I have 3 living boys. It does hurt do bad. I know I felt so sad and empty for weeks. I am just now at a point where I feel alittle bit better. Take all the time you need. We all are here if you need us. Tori

  8. #8
    Super Poster EmmyG's Avatar
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    I am so sorry for your loss, but I am glad you have found this board.

    I lost a baby in March. It was our first pregnancy. For me what was hardest was coming to terms with the fact that no matter what happens in the future, even if I go on to have ten healthy, full-term pregnancies, nothing will ever erase the loss... it will never go away and will always be a part of who I am. Current and future children don't "make up for" the ones we lose, so please don't feel guilty for your pain and sadness.

    It does get easier as you learn to incorporate the loss into who you are. I sort of feel like I am a new version of myself, and this new version knows better than the old one how to live with the loss. Healing takes time and happens so slowly, so day-to-day progress is nearly impossible to see/feel. Just remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve and no right amount of time for it to take.

    I hope you find some comfort here.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by EmmyG View Post
    I am so sorry for your loss, but I am glad you have found this board.

    I lost a baby in March. It was our first pregnancy. For me what was hardest was coming to terms with the fact that no matter what happens in the future, even if I go on to have ten healthy, full-term pregnancies, nothing will ever erase the loss... it will never go away and will always be a part of who I am. Current and future children don't "make up for" the ones we lose, so please don't feel guilty for your pain and sadness.

    It does get easier as you learn to incorporate the loss into who you are. I sort of feel like I am a new version of myself, and this new version knows better than the old one how to live with the loss. Healing takes time and happens so slowly, so day-to-day progress is nearly impossible to see/feel. Just remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve and no right amount of time for it to take.

    I hope you find some comfort here.
    I find that it does get easier, but for me the bolded part was the hardest thing as well.

    (((HUGS)))

  10. #10
    chrissy77g
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    I am sorry for your loss Heidi. There is not much I can say that will help you right now!


    I know you from the Dec. board. I have 4 children and I lost a pregnancy in January. I knew that I still wanted another child after my loss and I am now on the December board.

    I hope that you feel better soon and when the time comes for you, I hope that you get another BFP quickly and deliver another beautiful, healthy child!

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