New and have some ?'s (M/C, TTC, child ment)

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ajmsMommy's picture
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New and have some ?'s (M/C, TTC, child ment)

Hey everyone,
I just m/c'd on Friday at about 12 weeks. My story is I was on a copper IUD after DS was born, and he was nursing at least 4 times a day until late March at which point I weaned him completely. We had started TTC in January, but I never had AF after DS was born, so I figured it would take a while. I found out I was PG in April, but I only found out on Friday how far along I was, when the doctor removed the placenta and told me. (I was about 2 weeks further than I had thought). I'm sad, but I realize it was likely for good reason so I'm peaceful knowing LO is in a better place. Although I'm a little scared to TTC again, I'm don't feel guilty about it (at least not yet Lol because I don't feel at all like it's an attempt to replace this baby, it will just be our 3rd child.

I know this is really early, but we want to TTC again as soon as possible, since DH will be out of the country for 4 months this fall and I don't want to wait until next year.

How long does it usually take to get 1st AF after a m/c, and can anyone tell me why I am supposed to wait to have AF before TTC again? I'm edgy since I will likely have max 2 cycles before DH leaves.

TIA for the advice.

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I'm sorry for your loss. Everyone is different s far as when they get their period.

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I"m sorry for your loss. It took six weeks from my m/c to get my cycle back but everyone is different. I think the waiting is just to make sure that your body has healed. a m/c is a tramatic thing for your body. I know that it took a while for my body to get back to "normal" with hormones and tender bbs and such. I think it's just to give you time to heal emotionally too.

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I had d&cs both times, and it took 36 days both times for af to return. I know one of the reasons they say to wait is to help with dating purposes if you get pg again. And your body does need some recovery time as well. I know how hard it is wait, but for me, I felt like if I did not wait, and then had another loss, I would feel sooooo guilty, but that is just me.

Hugs and prayers and I am so sorry for your loss.

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Thanks so much for your responses. What a roller coaster of emotions this m/c thing is, hey? All weekend up to yesterday I felt pretty ok about everything, and then I just crashed. I feel so awkward at work because I hadn't told any of our clients yet, and they assume I missed 3 days of work last week because I have a bad cough and cold. 1st, I would never miss work just because I have a cold, and 2nd, I still have a wicked cough, so why would I be back at work now? everyone's like "Oh, glad to see you're back. Feeling better?" and I'm like (fake smile) "Yup, everything's fine now. Yup, cough just doesn't seem to want to go away." SO awkward. But my boss doesn't want me to tell everyone. Ok, so I devolved into a rant. sorry.

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I'm sorry things are up and down. IMHO, it may be easier to have them think you were out because of an illness. People get weird when it comes to losses and can sometimes make comments that hurt more then they heal.

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"missy8632" wrote:

I'm sorry things are up and down. IMHO, it may be easier to have them think you were out because of an illness. People get weird when it comes to losses and can sometimes make comments that hurt more then they heal.

You might be right. I suppose it just sucks right now but down the road it will probably be easier than if everyone knew. I'm having such a rough day today. I put my maternity clothes (not yet worn) back into a box with some baby clothes and DH found me bawling in the closet next to the box a couple minutes later. I'm not typically a really emotional person and this is totally messing me up.

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It is OK to cry, do not feel guilty as it is a normal process during grieving. Hugs.

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Hugs hon. There will be plenty of moments that bring on the tears and sadness, and as missy said, don't feel guilty, it is part of the process.