New here (loss mentioned)

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Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
New here (loss mentioned)

Hi everybody. I haven't posted here but have been lurking. I was due in May 08 and found at my 9 week ultrasound that the baby was not alive so I had a D&C last Thursday, just over a week ago.

It has been rough but with lots of prayers and support I really felt like I was recovering emotionally. Not that it won't always hurt but I was coping out in the world and grieving just in the quiet moments of the day.

Today I went grocery shopping and it just seemed that everybody in there had an infant in a carseat or they were holding their infants happily while they shopped. This unexpectedly made me just have a sinking feeling and I wanted to just hurry up and get out of the store. Then I came home and laid in bed the entire afternoon, napping off and on. I don't know how I can be so insensitive to my beautiful, loving, happy 4 year old but I couldn't help it. I wonder if this will keep happening forever. I can't go 5 feet down the street without seeing people with babies so I just don't know how those that have had losses of their children cope with it.


ETA that my husband was home all day with us and I did not leave my 4 yr old alone while I stayed in bed Smile

OneLuckyLady's picture
Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 04/12/07
Posts: 129

{{{hugs}}} I am so very sorry for your loss.

Child ment

My girl helped me heal. Cling to your LO. I know it is hard to get out of bed let alone play and run around. But when you are ready she will be more healing than anytihng I could tell you. Again, sending you lots of hugs.

Last seen: 5 years 11 months ago
Joined: 12/09/06
Posts: 74

I am so sorry for your loss.


I agree with pp, my daughter helped me immensly, also was something to keep me busy. It does get easier with time.

Hang in there


abbyrocks2427's picture
Last seen: 7 years 10 months ago
Joined: 10/26/06
Posts: 54

Im so sorry for you loss........

Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so sorry for your loss. I don't have a LO to help with the healing process but I do know staying in bed is not the answer. It will be hard and painful and it is a long process, but we are here for you and it sounds like you have a caring husband too.

Come here anytime.

mommyx6's picture
Last seen: 6 years 9 months ago
Joined: 08/24/07
Posts: 94

I am sorry for your loss.hugs to you during this rollercoaster of a ride.I wish you the best during this hard time.

Jessa_2213's picture
Last seen: 6 years 6 months ago
Joined: 11/13/06
Posts: 129

Oh No! Not another May loss! ((HUGS)) :bighug:
I'm so sorry hun... it seems like there are so many of us. I was on May too and also lost my little one just after 9 weeks.
I hope that you heal quickly...and just know that we're here to listen to vents whenever you have to come incontact with one of those evil unsensitive pregnant women!!!(I hate them too)

Mommie to Angels:
Liam & Alana

FreelanceMama's picture
Last seen: 3 years 4 weeks ago
Joined: 12/08/02
Posts: 140

(((HUGS))) Elicia. My experience was that some days I went numb and just spent the day on the computer or whatever, and other days I focused totally on Benjamin and his life. It was hard because I did flipflop so much. But he was very resilient and patient, even if he didn't know/understand. He just knew I was sad and didn't push me.

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time dealing with babies and pg women. Sad I have to admit that never really bothered me... until I started meeting women who were due around the same time as me. That was hard, months after the actual m/c. Even now I will meet women whose babies were born in June 2006 and I can't help thinking about it. But losses like this affect everyone differently so don't be afraid to feel the way you feel. (((HUGS)))

Uropachild's picture
Last seen: 4 years 9 months ago
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

I am so sorry for your loss. You have come to the right place for support, the ladies here are wonderful.

Seeing babies and pregnant ladies is hard for me no matter when they are due or born. I'm quite bitter at the moment, but i know it will get better, as it will for you too.

It's a cliche, but it's because it's true - time is a great healer

shellyhudson's picture
Last seen: 6 years 7 months ago
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

My four year old has been my saving grace. On the days that I would just rather stay in bed I get up because of her. I also don't hide my pain from her (completely). She knows when mommy is "off". I just tell her that I am missing Damien very much and that I love her just as much as I always have I am just very sad right now. Usually that leads to a talk about Damien and why he has to be with Grandpa in heaven instead of here with us. I tell her that I don't know why but that we will always think of him and love him. It is so hard at first. Nature is very cruel and we become more aware of our surroundings after we experience a loss of this magnitude. I suggest you just hold your little one and let it out. The grief needs to be experienced to be able to adjust to this whole new normal. I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope that you are able to find the peace and the strength that you need and deserve.


Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
child mentioned

We went to the Zoo today for their ZooBoo and it was packed and I swear every woman there was pg or looked pg or had a baby strapped to them, so I know what you mean. I was another May mom too and I m/c and had a d&c too.

This is a great place--hope it helps you