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Thread: New here (M/C ment and child ment)

  1. #1
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    Default New here (M/C ment and child ment)

    Hi, my name Tori I never ever thought I would be introducing my self here but I guess none of us do. I am a mom of 3 boys Patrick 8, Hayden 6, and Andrew 14 months. I was due to have my newest on Sept 9th. I have copied my story from my birth bored so I did not have to type i agian

    If you remember I had some bleeding two weeks ago, we went in and the baby was fine. I had contiuned to bleed off and on since then. Last night I started bleeding abit heavier, I just thought everything was okay since my doc said sometimes women bleed. This morning I woke up and the bleeding was heavier and I was starting to get some mild cramps. I called the doctor and they wanted me to come in. I called DH he was at work told him I was going in but I was pretty sure everything was okay that i would just call him, Mom kept Andrew. I got there and she did a belly u/s and there was my baby heartbeat 158 she waved to me and she kicked so hard we heard it. The tech wanted to to a tranvag U/S to see where the bleeding was coming from. The baby was moving around the entire time. She looked at me and said she needed to talk to the doctor and she would be back. My heart dropped. They came back and said my cervix was completly open (fully dialated). I was miscarring my baby. I called DH and he came right up. While I waited for him my contractions were coming very hard. We choose to go ahead for the D/C. They took me next door to the hospital. The whole time I was in so much pain. When I got into a room I got undressed right when I was getting into the bed, I got a gush of water and something very warm between my legs the baby came out. She hit the floor DH and I were the only ones in there He yelled for a nurse and held me and tried to get me to not look, but how could I that was my baby. She was perfect in everyway her tiny hands and feet gosh she was so little. My doctor wanted to go ahead and do the D/C to get everything else out. Everything from then on was a blur. I remember waking up in recovery and I thought I had dreamed the hole thing. I need to be sleeping now but my heart hurts so bad. My mind won't stop racing. I two days shy of 15 weeks. Why now?!?! My Baby was a baby girl. They are going to try to see why I miscarried. Sorry this is so misspelled and might not make any since I am a mess right now. Love you all!



    I am hurting so bad I never in my life thought I could feel this much pain. I keep thinking what if? I hate that I did not pick her up that I just let her lay in the floor. I just miss her so much already I am empty inside. It is so hard with a 14month old around he hates to see me cry. My mom is here for the next week but he still sees how upset his momma is.

  2. #2
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    I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter.. And so sorry for the way you had to experience your loss

    Have you thought about naming your daughter?

    It sounds like you had an IC (incompetent cervix) More then a few ladies on this board has had this problem during pregnancy....Doctors recommend to put a few stitches in around 12-14 weeks along to prevent this from happening....When will you know the cause?

    The ladies on this board are a great support...I am so very sorry you ended up here...Know that you are in good hands with all of us

    Take it one minute at a time ....Post often, as this will help trememdousely as you try to get through the days ahead.

    Marie

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    I replied on your other thread, but just wanted to tell you again how very sorry I am for your sad loss. Hugs to you.

  4. #4
    scootsmom
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    Tori,

    I cried when I read your story. It gave me flashbacks of my m/c.
    I don't think I ever told my story, but our losses were very similar. I started bleeding and saw my doctor twice that week. I had an ultrasound each visit and the baby looked perfect with a nice strong heartbeat. The day after my 2nd u/s, I decided to go ahead and go to work. After lunch, I started having some very mild cramping. An hour or two later, I felt a gush, and ran to the restroom. My baby was lying on my maxipad. I was just shy of 9 weeks, so the baby was only about an inch long, but it was perfectly formed. I saw my baby's arms and legs and dark little eyes.
    I can empathize with you completely, and I still struggle daily with the grief and the tremendous sense of loss.
    I'm glad to hear your mom is staying with you to help out. My mom did the same and it made my recovery significantly easier.
    Please PM if you'd like, and try to focus on your three little miracles.
    I'm so sorry for your loss.
    Last edited by scootsmom; 03-15-2008 at 05:56 PM.

  5. #5
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    Hi Tori! I am so sad to see all 3 of us Feb mamas who were due in Sept finding this board for the loss of our babies. I lost my first son at 24 weeks in a similar way as your current loss. I got to the hosptial almost completely dialated. I gave birth,and he just couldnt make it. I was wondering the same thing as a pp had mentioned, if you have an incompetent cervix, like me, that would cause you to painlessly dialate, but I have never heard of being diagnosed with an incompetent cervix on your 4th pregnancy without previously having some procedure (like biopsy) to the cervix. Anyways, I really hope they can give you some answer to why this happened! I, again, am so sorry for your loss! I remember feeling the same way after I lost my son, waking up and thinking it was a dream and over and over realizing its not a nightmare, its reality, and way worse than any nightmare I have ever had!! I also remember the insomnia that was maddening, and wishing I would have done this or that when I had the time with Christopher. I remember sobbing in the night- the night before I burried him becuase I had not dressed him and rushing to the funeral parlor and waiting for it to open to dress him. I just know the pain you feel. I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy let alone someone as lovely as you!! Im so sorry Tori. You and your family remain in my thoughts and prayers. I know you are closer to alot of the ladies on the board but like the others, if you ever want to pm me, please feel free! Take care of yourself while you greive the loss of your precious daughter!

  6. #6
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    I am so very sorry for the angel princess that you now have.

    Please come here and let out whatever you may be feeling. These ladies are amazing.


    Shelly

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    Hey Tori,

    I wrote you on the BB, but I wanted to let you know I am still thinking of you and your daughter. I lost my son almost a year ago this month and it took a while to start handling it. You will never forget your little girl, as I will never forget my little boy! I hope that you have good people around you that offer up the comfort you need!

    You may want to think about naming your little girl in time. When I foudn out I was pregnant with my son, my dh and I were so excited to pick out named, I think we had set-in stone names by about 6 weeks. When we found out we had indeed lost a son, he was named Philip Wade, just as if he was born at full term. I don't know why, but when I talk about him, the fact that he has a name, means a lot and helps. I had three losses before Philip, but never knew a gender so I never thought to name any of them... for some reason, naming helped!

    (((HUGS)))

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    Quote Originally Posted by mamato6 View Post
    Hi Tori! I am so sad to see all 3 of us Feb mamas who were due in Sept finding this board for the loss of our babies. I lost my first son at 24 weeks in a similar way as your current loss. I got to the hosptial almost completely dialated. I gave birth,and he just couldnt make it. I was wondering the same thing as a pp had mentioned, if you have an incompetent cervix, like me, that would cause you to painlessly dialate, but I have never heard of being diagnosed with an incompetent cervix on your 4th pregnancy without previously having some procedure (like biopsy) to the cervix. Anyways, I really hope they can give you some answer to why this happened! I, again, am so sorry for your loss! I remember feeling the same way after I lost my son, waking up and thinking it was a dream and over and over realizing its not a nightmare, its reality, and way worse than any nightmare I have ever had!! I also remember the insomnia that was maddening, and wishing I would have done this or that when I had the time with Christopher. I remember sobbing in the night- the night before I burried him becuase I had not dressed him and rushing to the funeral parlor and waiting for it to open to dress him. I just know the pain you feel. I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy let alone someone as lovely as you!! Im so sorry Tori. You and your family remain in my thoughts and prayers. I know you are closer to alot of the ladies on the board but like the others, if you ever want to pm me, please feel free! Take care of yourself while you greive the loss of your precious daughter!

    Thank you so much sweetie. It does help alot to know people care and to hear that my feelings are completly normal. Second night of no sleep. I kept falling asleep then I would wake up with the picture of my sweet little girl.
    I, like you can not belive all 3 of us ended up here. It sadens my heart to know that we all are going through the same thing. Thanks agian hun. Same goes to you if you wanna talk please feel free to PM me.
    Tori

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    Quote Originally Posted by mom@41 View Post
    I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter.. And so sorry for the way you had to experience your loss

    Have you thought about naming your daughter?


    The ladies on this board are a great support...I am so very sorry you ended up here...Know that you are in good hands with all of us

    Take it one minute at a time ....Post often, as this will help trememdousely as you try to get through the days ahead.

    Marie
    Thank you Marie. DH and I have thought about naming her but the perfect name just has not came to me get.
    Tori

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    Tori, I was dropping in to re-introduce myself and, if you hadn't posted, to make sure the ladies would help you. I'm so glad you found your way to this board. Of all of the ladies on p.org, these women are the best. You are in good hands.

    I'm sorry that I've been gone so long from this board, but I do think you all are wonderful ladies

    I love you, Tori.
    Last edited by Pammi41125; 03-18-2008 at 09:56 AM.

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