I wish that I didn't have to post here, but I feel like this is a place where everyone can understand what I am feeling. On Thursday night I went to bed, happy and excited about the new life growing inside me. On Friday morning I woke up and discovered that I was bleeding and everything changed. I called the doctor who told me to go to the ER where my worst fears were confirmed. I can't adequately put into words the depth of my sadness. I had to go in for a follow-up appointment today and the nurse was asking the routine check-in questions and she asked when my last period was and then said, "so you are pregnant..." and I had to tell her, "no, I'm here as a follow-up after having a miscarriage." Saying that word makes me lose it. I feel like I am in a bad dream and I can't wake up from it. IRL I have only told the few people that knew about the pregnancy- immediate family and one friend. So far, talking about it does not help...I think partially because I haven't talked to anyone that has been through this hell themselves. I don't know what I expect people to say, but what they have been saying so far- ("at least you know you are fertile" "at least you already have a child" (because I have a DS who is almost 2) "hang in there- you'll get over it" "at least it was so early", etc.) is not helping. I can't get it out of my mind when I was in the ER and the corpsman that was assigned to me asked why I was there and I told her that I was pregnant, but that I was afraid that I was having a m/c and her response was, "oh, congratulations on being pregnant! That is so exciting! Do you want a boy or a girl?" I wanted to slap her!
I do have some friends IRL that have been through this in the past. In most cases, I didn't know about their losses until a long time after they had happened. I am torn about contacting one of them to talk because I don't want to re-open the pain for them. I feel alone, even though I know that this is way too common.