New here - m/c, ttc ment.
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Thread: New here - m/c, ttc ment.

  1. #1
    Mega Poster
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    Default New here - m/c, ttc ment.

    I was 8 weeks when I started spotting. A week later (last Monday), my Dr. called me in and saw a "bad" u/s, way too small a sac, and no heartbeat. Subsequent blood tests showed my levels dropped, and I decided to m/c naturally. That started on Friday 6/15. My cramps and heavy bleeding started yesterday at work. I'm home today, but could go in now, the pain meds have kicked in, but now the mental toll is worse than the physical and I doubt I'll be productive. This was my 2nd m/c, the first occurred in Feb.

    Thanks to some of those on the other boards (jan 2008, PAL), I learned of this board, although I couldn't even deal with looking at it until today.

    My DH is sweet, but I don't think he really understands. Plus, he doesn't seem to be grieving at all. To him, esp. since we m/c'ed in feb., this pregnancy was a wait and see. I felt like that too, but it was still a part of me and I guess that kept me from being entirely clinical. A part of me is upset that he doesn't seem to be feeling bad about the loss. He is, but only in the context of the pain I'm in (mental and physical). He literally says stuff like, "I'm so sorry for you". What about YOU - don't you care??? Anyway, I'll stop rambling. Obviously he is caring and loving, but I can't help getting emotional about things like this.

    Thanks for a place to unload. Glad that this board exists, though sad that it's needed.

  2. #2
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    I am so sorry for the loss of your baby

    I am glad you decided to post...When I lost my twins, it was very hard for me to come back to this board...But I am so glad I did..

    As far as dh goes...Men really do grieve so differently from women. With each loss I had, my husband became more and more introverted, in regards to his feelings about losing our babies....Eventually, it all came out...But as my losses continued (with the twins, especially) he was just empty...blank...but silently dying inside

    I know you will have no regrets about joining this board...Though, I am sad you had to..

    The women here are very supportive..

    Marie

  3. #3
    missy8632
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    I'm so sorry for both of your losses. I know what it is like not to want to visit boards like this. It means you have to deal with the reality of lossing your baby.

    As far as DH, men grieve is a differnt way then we do. My DH felt bad he could not help me emotionally and thought that if he "moved" on I would follow. Sit down and talk with him about your feelings and ask him to talk about his.


  4. #4
    missy8632
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    I'm so sorry for both of your losses. I know what it is like not to want to visit boards like this. It means you have to deal with the reality of losing your baby.

    As far as DH, men grieve is a differnt way then we do. My DH felt bad he could not help me emotionally and thought that if he "moved" on I would follow. Sit down and talk with him about your feelings and ask him to talk about his.


  5. #5
    missy8632
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    I'm so sorry for both of your losses. I know what it is like not to want to visit boards like this. It means you have to deal with the reality of losing your baby.

    As far as DH, men grieve is a differnt way then we do. My DH felt bad he could not help me emotionally and thought that if he "moved" on I would follow. Sit down and talk with him about your feelings and ask him to talk about his.


  6. #6
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    I am sorry for your loss. The exact thing has happned with me last week. I was 9 weeks along although my u/s showed that the baby stoped developing at 8 weeks. My m/c just started today..5 days after i found out i lost my baby. It is such a hard thing to go through. The ladies on this board has helped out so much. If you need anyone to talk to you can pm me anytime.

  7. #7
    Posting Addict Cali26's Avatar
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    I am so sorry for both of your losses. This has been an emotional roller coaster for me - I'm learning that you have to allow yourself time to grieve. The ladies on this board offer great advice and they have made me realize that I am not alone in this.

    I feel men grieve differently - it sounds like your DH may be protecting his heart. I had my first m/c last week and although DH was also grieving, he expressed that he will never truly understand what I was experiencing b/c he was only experiencing the emotional part - none of the physical -

    Stay close with your DH and don't be afraid to tell him how you're feeling.


  8. #8
    Posting Addict Uropachild's Avatar
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    I am so sorry for your losses. It's great that you have decided to come and post here, because it is a wonderful support in our grief. Please vent, cry, shout and stress here. However you feel - we are here.

  9. #9
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    Thank you all.

    I am feeling better, but it's still ups and downs. Since I posted, I got wretched cramping and the last 30 hours have been tough. I am now feeling somewhat human again, though I am completely jacked up on advil. I think the physical ordeal pushed any mental pain out, couldn't really think. I think the worst is over, last time the pain lasted ~2 days and that's about where I'm at now.

    Thanks again. I really appreciate your support and a place to come to, where there are people who understand. Amy329 - it sounds like we are at the same place at this time - so sorry about your loss.

  10. #10
    LB66
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    I am very sorry for your losses. I hope the physical as well as emotional pain, subside soon.
    I'm sorry you had to come here but glad you did...this is a wonderfully supportive group.

    Take care of you.

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