Hi, I'm Jen. Last friday I suffered a mc. Technically, it was a chemical pregnancy and I found out b/c I was bleeding, went to the ER and they said there was no sign of pregnancy even though just a week earlier I had 2 positive pregnancy tests. This is my second loss. My first was a little over two years ago when I miscarried at about 12 weeks, but the baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks. I didn't even know I was pregnant though, because I was on the 3 month pill and had gotten pregnant just before starting the pill pack. So it was a strange loss. It was still very hard because the nurse told us the pregnancy was viable and then an hour later the doctor said there was no fetal pole and the pregnancy wasn't viable. I didn't want to believe him so I left without a d&c and then miscarried naturally the next day. That was really painful.
Anyway, I am really sad. I've been trying to "get over it" but I can't help but feel bad about having lost 2 babies. I'm anxious to start TTC again, but timing wise, we need to wait until March. That's another thing I feel bad about. This baby was "bad timing" so I can't help but feel guilty that I even thought that. I WANTED the baby, I was just worried how I was going to juggle taking the bar exam, building our new home, and having a baby. I know I could do it, it just was a lot to deal with. I would rather be dealing with it than living with the loss - but I guess I don't have a choice.
Anyway, thanks for reading this far. I'm just glad to have somewhere to go. No one IRL really understands - not even DH. Thanks in advance for your understanding.