Hi, I'm Jen. Last friday I suffered a mc. Technically, it was a chemical pregnancy and I found out b/c I was bleeding, went to the ER and they said there was no sign of pregnancy even though just a week earlier I had 2 positive pregnancy tests. This is my second loss. My first was a little over two years ago when I miscarried at about 12 weeks, but the baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks. I didn't even know I was pregnant though, because I was on the 3 month pill and had gotten pregnant just before starting the pill pack. So it was a strange loss. It was still very hard because the nurse told us the pregnancy was viable and then an hour later the doctor said there was no fetal pole and the pregnancy wasn't viable. I didn't want to believe him so I left without a d&c and then miscarried naturally the next day. That was really painful.
Anyway, I am really sad. I've been trying to "get over it" but I can't help but feel bad about having lost 2 babies. I'm anxious to start TTC again, but timing wise, we need to wait until March. That's another thing I feel bad about. This baby was "bad timing" so I can't help but feel guilty that I even thought that. I WANTED the baby, I was just worried how I was going to juggle taking the bar exam, building our new home, and having a baby. I know I could do it, it just was a lot to deal with. I would rather be dealing with it than living with the loss - but I guess I don't have a choice.
Anyway, thanks for reading this far. I'm just glad to have somewhere to go. No one IRL really understands - not even DH. Thanks in advance for your understanding.
I'm really sorry to hear about your loss-both of them. I have had 2 m/c also so I know how you feel. Don't beat yourself up over the timing part-you would've been fine I'm sure. It is hard to talk to people who have never experienced what we have, especially to men. They don't go through the physical aspects of losing a child like women do. We have so many more emotional attachments besides the fact that the baby was in our bodies. Just take one day at a time and remember to grieve openly-we are all here for you anytime!
Tons of hugs. I so understand what you are goiing through i have been through a few m/c boith early and late, so i fully understand what you are feeling. SOrry but the men just are seldom going to understand what we are going through. You get those rare gems who do, but that isnt the norm, because we are attached in so many ways to the pg, physically and mentally. It is going to take healing time, please do not swallow your grief down, give yourself the opportunity to grieve the loss. You are lucky because you have this board to talk to others who know and understand.
I know what you mean. I recently lost my baby at 15 weeks. The entire time I was pregnant I was terrified about juggling three babies. I never imagined anything much good about doing so. Everything seemed like it was just going to be hard. Nothing much is made for five. I practically felt like I wished myself into a m/c. Of course that isn't true or possible, but it still makes me sad that I even think that way. I desperately wanted this baby, so losing him was tragic for us. I think every pregnant woman wonders how they will juggle everything and is scared a bit time to time about a baby, no matter what # it is. That is normal. And no matter how scared we are, the loss is horrible. It's ok to feel sad, and to grieve. A loss is a loss, no matter when it happens.
Come here to vent or just share. We've all been there, so we can relate to how you feel. You will come through it. Take time to mourn your loss.
I am sorry to hear about both of your losses. The guilt you are feeling is normal. There is no good reason for the loss of a child and therefore as mothers we blame ourselves. It is easy to berate yourself for every little thought or thing that you did/did not do. Please let yourself grieve and know that it wasn't you. Come here any time you need.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your 2 babies. You have the right to feel bad, so please don't feel like you have to move so quickly to get over it. I don't think any of us will truly ever get over any of our losses. Take care of yourself and please try not to be so hard on yourself.
Hi Jen, I am so sorry for your losses I know what you mean about not having people IRL to talk to/ understand, and men certainly do greive differently that we do. I have found a lot of support on this board, so I hope you can as well.
I am so sorry you have a "reason" to post here. A loss (no matter how far along you were) is always devestation. Lets face it the minute we get a BFP we see the future. We see hopes, dreams, and in them we are all smiles. We never figure something will stop it from coming true.
Noone IRL (unless they have experienced a loss) will know your pain. I have had so many friends ask me why I still "get sad"..well I cant imagine not "getting sad" about losing my children.Thankfully now I am in a place where I can think of them and smile at times too..but it is still a devastating fact that we lost children.
I am sorry for your loss. I hope you can find some comfort here on this board.