New here... sick of peoples comments!
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Thread: New here... sick of peoples comments!

  1. #1
    Contributor
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    Jun 2009
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    Default New here... sick of peoples comments!

    I am new on here.... and today was really frustrating.

    I had a mc Christmas of last year, and also last week. I am surprisingly doing ok (considering what happened...) Each day seems to get better, and then people make comments!!

    Why do people think they are doctors and insist that I would have carried my babies to full term if I would gain wait? Yes I am underweight, but not by much (Im 105 lbs) and my dr said this is NOT the reason I mc! Why can they not take my word for it that this is NOT the reason!! I have counted about 15 people that have told me this in the past week!!

    And also, I feel bad that this comment upsets me, but the "God knows what He is doing/Leave it in God's hands and when it is His will, you will have a baby" comments frustrate me so much! Dont get me wrong, I am in love with my God... My DH and I are childrens pastors... I totally agree with these comments! But I Do not need to hear them every day!! I know this, and do not need reminding of it! I have too many emotions rolling through my head of WHY I do not have my 2 babies in my arms!

    I know people are just trying to help... but still.

    Anyways, thanks for letting me vent!!

  2. #2
    missy8632
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    Default Preg ment

    I am sorry for your losses. I have heard of people having problems getting pregnant if they are under weight, but not a cause of a miscarriage.
    I know for me, being "in God's hands" was a bunch of crap. Do not get me wrong I am relegious, but it does not make sense. I did everything right and lost a number of angels. I see people smoking and drinking and have child after child. It is one of those lines designed to make you feel better, like "rain on your wedding day means good luck."
    Hang in there honey.

  3. #3
    Posting Addict HarleyGurl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by missy8632 View Post
    I am sorry for your losses. I have heard of people having problems getting pregnant if they are under weight, but not a cause of a miscarriage.
    I know for me, being "in God's hands" was a bunch of crap. Do not get me wrong I am relegious, but it does not make sense. I did everything right and lost a number of angels. I see people smoking and drinking and have child after child. It is one of those lines designed to make you feel better, like "rain on your wedding day means good luck."
    Hang in there honey.
    I completely agree.. it seems like the people that shouldn't be having kids do


  4. #4
    Posting Addict kerina313's Avatar
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    I'm sorry for the insensitive comments - Most people don't know what to say and if they know your background - they probably are thinking those comments are "helpful". Most won't get it unless they've been there.

    I just went back to work after my "maternity leave" - I gave birth in May and she died 2 days later. Most people were happy to see me back and just said sorry about what happened - and moved on - which was nice. Some were uncomfortable and didn't say anything. Which is fine. I ended up finding out that a "friend's" wife m/c not too long ago and it was their first m/c - after 3 healthy kids. He told me he felt bad telling me this considering what I went through - I shook my head and said a loss is a loss - no matter when. I know what losses do (I've had 4 m/c) to the woman's mind - and I'm sure people would say it's my weight that's doing it. It's not. Sometimes there are no reasons - or at least ones we'll know about here. The best thing we can do is not over analyze and just have faith.

    I'm 40 and want to get pregnant again. If we're meant to have another child - then we will. If we're not - then we're not. Doesn't mean I won't be sad, but I truly believe things happen for a reason.

    Breathe deep - smile at them - and then come here and vent if it gets to you. We'll be here for you

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