I'm sad to say I'm joining you all today. I went in for an ultrasound today knowing the likelihood of my results were going to be bad. The baby stopped growing and no heartbeat was detected, 7 days after we found a heartbeat. I had been experiencing many symptoms of a miscarriage but the dr. reassured me last week that they were "normal". Sometimes I think I need to learn to trust my gut instinct. This was my first pregnancy and all the emotions are a lot to handle. I think my husband and I are doing well. I'm looking forward to not being nauseous and seeing friends this summer.
Bad thing though, I haven't miscarried the baby yet. The doctor prefers I go natural and has an appt. set up for in 7 days in case I haven't completed the process. I'm so nervous and not looking forward to the upcoming events. I don't want to see anything, feel anything, and just move forward. I have been bleeding a lot, cramping, and super nauseated. It's so hard dealing with the emotions of the loss but then also knowing I'm going to have to deal with the physical part as well. Sorry for the details, but I hope venting through this message board will help my emotional recovery.
I talked with my friend who is a dr. and he agreed with the dr's decision. It's already been at least 8 days since the baby passed away and my body hasn't passed it. The last couple of nights i'm cramping but nothing is happening. I really want to have this over with so we can grieve and move forward. Instead I'm nervous and scared in anticipation of what is going to happen and what I might see. I'm going to try to go to work today for a 4 hours and see if I can hold it together. Again, I'm afraid of the cramps starting at work. This morning I woke up just crying and crying. I guess part of me was hoping it was all a dream and in the morning everything would be better. I would like to move forward but I guess I have to wait on my body first.
After 14 days of spotting/bleeding, 10 days of passing large clots, and 5 long long cramped filled nights, I think it's finally over. Or almost! I got the most sleep all week last night (4 hours). I'm thinking tonight is going to be the start of something good. Time to start moving forward. I have an appt. Thur to see if everything passed. I'm not 100% sure but I know my body did the best it could. I laid in pain every night wishing it would be over soon and praying to make it easy on me. Today the bleeding has lessened up and I'm hoping tonight I'll be cramp-free or close to. This has been such a rough road and I'm hoping to focus on my emotional recovery, once the physical recovery is done.
I can really relate to what you're saying about healing when the physical aspect of the miscarriage is over. Today has been a better day for me too for that exact reason. The symptoms were a continuing reminder to me of my pregnancy and I really felt that I was unable to process the psychological part until that passed. Although I'm still not done, the worst of the physical pain is over, and my body is feeling less pregnant.
Anyway, I know that doesn't make the emotional pain go away but I can relate to how it releases you to start moving forward.
I'm so sorry to see you join the board. It sounds like a very rough time.
I took the meds, and so it hurried along the actual miscarriage, so I went from "missed miscarriage" to passing the whole pg within 2 days...but then I kept bleeding/cramping for just a day or two shy of two weeks.
I hate that you weren't given more options to at least be able to choose for yourself how you wanted to process it.
All the emotions are hard to deal with. I still had a hard time dealing with them until I was done bleeding. Not all day every day, but sometimes I'd get an emotional surge.
Feel free to vent here...the DHs try to be understanding, supportive and caring, but a man just can't fully comprehend what it is or how it feels to go through all of the depth of a m/c.
I hope you guys have great success in ttc and when you get your BFP I wish you a HH9M!