No Tact

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cdokter's picture
Joined: 02/18/08
Posts: 126
No Tact

I was at work today. I work with a few girls cleaning houses (at least until I find teaching work). They all know about my MC. Even the new girl. Well, today, the new girl was ticked off because we were working later then usual. We got Monday off if we all agreed to shift Mondays work into Tuesday. Worked for all of us then. But new girl was unhappy come 2 (our usual home time) and infomred us all, bluntly, that she had to go home NOW becuase she had to get to a doctor to get the morning after pill and that today was was the last day she could do it (you have a seventy something hour window for the pill to be effective). Then, when out boss didn't want to drive her home early (we all ride in the same car) she took the next two hours *****ing to me about about it. Talking about how she really should go on birth control because condoms break sometimes and that the emergency contraceptive pill isn't all that bad but it makes you kinda sick. She talked about how she has taken it a few times becuase she wants to clean her system out for a whole year before she has a baby and how she was drinking all weekend so this would not be a good time to get pregnant....on and on and on. It drove me batty. I reminded her almost right away that I just miscarried. She commented that yeah, that happens sometimes and then went right on *****ing. Forever! It made me so mad. I mean, I'm honestly pro choice. So, it's not the pill that bothers me (although, wanting a baby or not, i don't think i couod take it myself). It's the lack of campassion. It seemed like she figured if she made me cry or something, the boss would end the day early. Or maybe she just wanted someone to be a miserable as her. I just don't know what goes on in some peoples heads. Thanks for letting me vent.

raginger's picture
Joined: 05/12/08
Posts: 56

Sorry your co-worker was such a pain today. That sounds really bad. It seems like people in general really have their heads up their butts on what is tactful and polite to do when someone has a miscarriage. If it was not for the support of my immediate family and this board, I would have lost hope in the human race a long time ago. I think that unless people have been there or unless people really love you, people will continue to live their lives and think and say whatever they want to. Heaven forbid that THEIR lives are altered or disturbed in any way because of our depression or grief. I don't know if that is what you are dealing with, but from how your co-worker was talking, she just seems oblivious of the pain that you are feeling. Hang in there and know that we are thinking of you.

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

Wow! What a stupid girl. I'm sorry that she was so insensitive and crap. Sad

shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

You didn't totally rip into her? I would have been sorely tempted to haul off and smack her. At the very least I would have told her that she wouldn't have to worry about the morning after pill if she kept her legs shut!!

I have no tolerance whatsoever anymore for idiots like that. I am so sorry that you had to deal with that.

Shelly

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Rip that insensitive cow a new one....seriously....or let me...I'm in just the mood to do it....
Lisa

cdokter's picture
Joined: 02/18/08
Posts: 126

And today, I get an e-mail from my mom asking me if I'd mind helping a friend of a fried aclimize to Edmonton. See, she's having a rough time with her first pregnancy and really needs someone her age to hang out with. What is with these people? It's only been two months and I'm suppossed to be all cool with everything? My own mother. She's MC'd and lost my brother (whom I didn't even know existed for years becuase of how painful it was to talk about) so she should know better. Man, this is a bad week. I was dong okay too.

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

I'm sorry that your mom is not as sensitive right now. Sad I have two close friends that are pregnant, and in talking to one today, she said she knows she probably shouldn't come over lots, with her big belly, I told her it was okay, but that when her baby comes, I might not be okay seeing it a lot. I felt rude, and cried, but I think she understood. So what did you tell your mom?

cdokter's picture
Joined: 02/18/08
Posts: 126

I haven't said anything back yet...LoL...I might have refrained for tearing co-worker a new one (my boss apparently did so for me later anyway) but I'm not too sure I could let it go with my mom. I mean, she's my mom....she should know better. Plus, I feel bad for the girl. New home, new people, stressed and feeling crappy. I get that. That's what I had before I MC'd. But, I'm not a good answer for her problems now. And my Mom should know that.

min150mph's picture
Joined: 09/08/07
Posts: 72
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I'm so sorry for your insensitive co-worker and for your mom to not think straight. Sometimes things just come out so hopefully our mom just had one of those moments. I'm sure if you tell her that you'd love to do what she asked at any other time, but right now you have a hard time being around PG women and babies. I still have a hard time with this and it has been more than 6 months since my loss.

HopefullySoon's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 163

you know what they say about misery loving company. I'm sorry you have had such a bad week. If it was my mom, I would talk to her about it too. please take care!

Joined: 06/10/07
Posts: 1692

:bigarmhug:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm sorry. Hugs.
The morning after pill was created for emergencies, not a form of b/c. I can not belive her doctor has not said something to her, she can still get an STD.
But, next time just walk away.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

My heart goes out to you for this double whammy. For heaven's sake -- some people just don't THINK!!!! Grrrrrr....

I'm glad you vented here, and found all of the support above. This board is fantastic, eh?

Love,
Nicole

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Um, that was a totally inappropriate topic of conversation for someone at work (even if it is cleaning houses). I would honestly complain to your manager, shift supervisor or whoever you need to.

*hugs*

Also, tell your mom that unless you offer to help someone out, that you aren't ready to be "voluntold" to help someone (whether it be talking to them or otherwise).

:bigarmhug: Sorry about all that crap Sad

cdokter's picture
Joined: 02/18/08
Posts: 126

Thanks guys. Sometimes, I just have to hear that how I feel is exactly how I should feel, ya know?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

that sucks. what an insensitive girl. you were much more patient than I would have been.