I'm Heather. I have a 9month old, december delight. I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks ago. I went to the doctor last week and had an u/s to determine how far along I was. I found out that I had already miscarried the baby, and just had an empty sac.
I was not really ready to have another baby. when i found out i was preggers again, i was so upset. But now, going through the process of miscarrying this baby/sac, i feel so guilty about ever feeling upset about being pregnant. I feel so overwhelmingly depressed and ashamed.
I am thankful that I can post my feelings on this board without being judged. I just needed to get this off my chest.
Hugs Heather. I am sorry that you are having to go through this. Don't feel guilty. Pregnancy can be so hard, especially when you have a little one already. Are you waiting to m/c the sac naturally? I had the same thing, and ended up with a d&c after a few weeks. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
Just because a pregnancy is a surprise does not make it unwanted. I'm sure when you found out you went through a whole rollercoaster of emotions, but you will have got used to the idea and maybe even started to get excited? To have that turned around on it's head because you have suffered a loss must be hard.
Plus the nature of loss of this kind is that you feel guilt. It's something that is completely out of our control and a lot of the time we dont know why it's happened, so we try and place blame and (speaking for myself here) sometimes you can blame the most ridiculous things!
I'm not saying that you think you caused your m/c because your pregnancy was a surprise, i just mean that generally we will feel guilt about anything and everything after a loss. So feeling guilty because you didnt plan the pregnancy and your reaction wasnt immediate joy and nothing but, is normal.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Whether you were immediately overjoyed or not does not change the fact that you loved that child. It comes through in your post. I am sorry that you have a need for this board, but I am glad that you found it. Shelly
I understand completely. When I was pg, I missed an amazing job opportunity and had that moment of hmm if I wasn't pregnant ...
Obviously I loved my daughter and I was ready to have her but now just remembering that fleeting thought of what if I wasn't pg, I could have had that opportunity. Now it makes me feel shallow for letting that thought even cross my mind. I too have never shared that with anyone but it has been nagging at me. I'm sure many people have had moments of doubt in their pregnancy but when you lose your child then somehow you get this guilty feeling that you are somehow to blame.
Heather you would have loved that child as much as you love your 9 mos old. I am truly sorry for your loss. I understand you feeling ashamed but you did nothing wrong. The fact that you now feel so much grief for this child shows that you would have loved him or her even though the timing was exactly perfect.
Thanks you guys for all your support and kind words during this difficult time I started cramping and bleeding today. I guess my body is doing what it needs to do. I'm glad i'm doing it naturally and not needing a D&C. I had one after I had my son and those are not fun!
Thanks again for all your support. It feels good to be able to talk about this with someone.