I am feeling really bad that i havent been down in the dumps and taken the time to grieve about losing the baby. Is it normal that i have gone about my day just fine, still cooking dinner, playing outside with the kids and not crying? I'm afraid that i might be fine now, but if and when dh leaves to go back i might end up losing it then, which would be a bad thing, since i will then have no one to lean on. Has anyone else not felt really sad at first? I came to terms that this happened for a reason i'm not sure if that is why i am at ease right now.
Have you heard of the stages of grief?
As we grieve we move up and down the chain, until one finally accepts the loss. So they say. It does not mean you did not love you baby any less then anyone else who had a loss. Everyone processes grief in their own seperate wasy. Maybe you are still in the denial stage, there is nothing wrong with you. Do not judge what others feel and thin=k you should be feeling the same way too.
I was incredibly sad and cried and cried for days even weeks solid in the beginning, but then i started to smile again and laugh and things started to get kind of back to normal again. That's when i wondered if i wasnt grieving 'enough' I felt guilty sometimes that maybe i wasnt honouring Zanes memory by crying over his loss all of the time. We all know that this isnt the case though.
As much as for us sometimes the world seems to stop, or you think maybe it should stop to acknowledge this pain you feel, it never does. Everyone and everything keeps on going and we have to fit in with that. Sometimes that means that we dont feel our grief for a while, but that's not a bad thing. It means that we have carried on living that's all.