hi all, some of you may remember me from around the place.
2 weeks ago yesterday I had a 2nd ruptured ectopic pregnancy. This resulted in emergency surgery and the removal of my right tube and the pregnancy.
4 years ago, I had my 1st ruptured ectopic. I lost most of my left tube. (it is still attached at the uterus but not the ovary).
I am grieving HARD. I know that I have lots of positives to look at, we can still conceive with IVF. IVF has worked for us before, I have a beautiful IVF DD.
I don't know why I'm so sad and angry. I'm so lucky just to have Sophia. I don't know, I guess I was just hanging onto what everyone says "After an IVF pregnancy, many couples go on to have "accidental" pregnancies". Well yes, I did have an "accidental" pregnancy, it just resulted in the death of my baby, the sterilisation of me and the loss of all hope of "just" getting pregnant.
I havn't just lost another baby, i've lost what little was left of my fertility. I think I'm mourning that more than the pregnancy loss.
sorry to blurt that all out.
I just can't get past the anger.