as if it were not enough to live through it, I have to dream about it too?
I debated on sharing this, but I have to get it out. Its graphic, I am sorry. please be warned.......
I went to a doc to see about why I was still bleeding... all of a sudden my belly swelled up and you could see it moving, like someone was kicking in there. For a quick second, it was even see-through! I could see a baby moving inside. I ran to the doc in her office, screaming that there was a baby for sure, and I had not miscarried. She did an ultrasound, and there it was, a little boy bouncing around. She told me that I must have been pg with twins, and lost the little girl. But here was the other one just healthy as could be. Oh, and my husband was being played by Matt Damon (the only chuckly part of the dream).
So of course, today I am a mess. Will someone please tell my subconscious that its not cool to do that?
Subconscious, that's not cool. You shouldn't do that.
I went through the dreams too, they've started to fade. Every now and then a bad one hits, but I don't sleep much anyways....hope it gets better for you.
I know exactly what you are going through Warning....This may be disturbing for some.
The day I lost my baby, I had to go to the OR. They had to take the baby because of where it was. I remember when I woke up in the recovery room, the doctors came in and did an U/S to make sure that they were able to get everything. So after that day, i also had dreams. The dream that i had over and over again was that i was back in the recovery room and they were doing an ultrasound and they said that they had to go back in because they forgot the feet. When i looked at the screen, the feet were moving.
I had this dream for months and I still have it some times. I think that this is normal because this experience is so traumatizing for us that we either "relive" it or we try to cope by dreaming of a different outcome. I hope the dreams go away very soon for you.
Sometimes I dream that my baby was born but it was born sick and that I was not allowed to see them (they woudn't even tell me the gender) or be told anything about them until things were better, if they got better at all. I spend the whole night calling the hospital and begging family to let me see my baby. It's terrible. I really feel for you.