Hi, I'm Sherri, age 30, married 4yrs. I haven't posted before but I've been "lurking" here for about six weeks, since I miscarried my first-ever pregnancy at 7 weeks ( EDD was May 8, 08 ). First of all, although I haven't been actively posting I have to thank you all for sharing your experiences -- I'm so sorry for all of your losses, but reading about what you've been through and the support you show to each other has been very helpful to me.
Anyway, even though I'm finding that time does help lessen the hurt a bit, I still go over the "why" question in my head all the time. But I find that now, on top of wondering about what I did or didn't do physically to cause it to happen, I'm thinking things like "maybe this means I'm not fit to be a mother" or "maybe I'm being punished for something" and stuff like that. I know it's kind of silly but I still think these things a lot and it's tearing me up.
I'm also afraid to get pg again too soon -- that all I'd do is worry, and wait for this one to end too -- but then I'm also afraid to wait too long before trying again; that too much time to think would be bad.
Am I alone in thinking like this? I know I worry too much but how can I not?
thanks for reading; sorry this was long...