Posting After a Loss

5 posts / 0 new
Last post
Joined: 04/21/07
Posts: 2
Posting After a Loss

It has been over a month since my last post. Losing our first baby to a miscarriage was a truly difficult experience. We are both still trying to get past this, realizing that we will never fully get over this loss. We have both been doing some reading and talking with others that have had a similar experience to us. It was quit shocking for me to find out how many couples go through a loss. If you are interested, please share your experiences. We are at the point where we would like to try again. We are staying positive, especially after reading, 'The Secret.' Please feel free to offer us any advice!

edited by uropachild to remove signature

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456


First off, I am sorry for your loss Sad Losing a child, is something one never gets over...As you work through the grieving process, you will learn to better live with that pain...loss.

My name is Marie. I am 42, and one of the moderators on this board.

A little about me. DH and I started ttc seriously in 2005. Since that time I have lost 9 babies (well, one was in 1999) with no known cause...only speculation...


Anyways, after our 9th loss, I was all scheduled for IVF/PGD for possibly the following month or so...Yet I felt God pushing me to give it one more go naturally. So, dh and I bd, and got preg straight away.

I prayed as I always have, that if it be God's will, that this child live...That said, with this pregnancy..The story in the Bible about the woman who bled and bled her whole life, and fought through the crowd surrounding Jesus...reaching out in faith, and touching His she was healed...I thought, *if only I could touch your robe Jesus, I would be healed* ..

I went in for my betas and they were very good, along with my progesterone. I went in for my first ultrasound, and saw a good heart beat...

Now, this was the usual for me, with a good amount of my pregnancy's....Good beta's, good first heart beat...then all would always fall apart by the time the second ultrasound came around, which was usually around the 8-9 or so week mark..

So, I go in for my 9wk ultrasound, fully expecting to see my baby has gone to be with the Lord, as usual...But what do I see instead? I see my baby is perfect Smile with a strong heart beat.... I was in complete shock..

I don't know what God has in store for me, or my child...But right now I am 11wks preg...with no signs that anything is going wrong.

I truly believe, that *if* it is God's will that this child lives..That it was not of my doing...That it was God who healed me, who enabled me to carry this child to term...

Time will tell...Until then, I am thankful for every day He gives me with my baby...

I don't know if my story helps or not....My journey is far from finished...

I hope this time it has a happy ending..


Joined: 04/21/07
Posts: 2

Best of luck to you. Thank you for the story. It helps to hear what others have went through.

edited by uropachild to remove signature

SparkIris's picture
Joined: 12/22/06
Posts: 35


Hi! I haven't posted here in a while b/c I have moved on to the Preg. After Loss board, but I check in now and then and wanted to share with you.

Yes, soooo many people lose children to m/c. I had no idea how many until it happened to me and so many family members and friends told me about their losses. I knew my mom had one before me, but I didn't know my MIL, my husband's aunt, my FIL's wife....the list goes on. I take comfort in knowing that each of those women have living children now, so I know I will too.
Trying again after a loss is a real mixture of emotions. I felt both hopeful and afraid. I got pregnant the first month of trying with our first baby, so I was counting on it taking several months this time. My husband and I started trying 3 months after the loss. We were leaving for the weekend the day before I was supposed to start my period, so I decided to go ahead and take the hpt that day so that we could get the disappointment over with and enjoy our weekend. Well, we did enjoy our weekend because I was pregnant! Now I am almost 10 weeks along and everything seems to be fine. I go in for a listen on Monday which will be just past the point that things went wrong last time. I'll feel better if we can hear the h/b on Monday, but the next few weeks will still be scary since I didn't actually m/c until week 13.

I guess my best advice is prepare to worry...especially until you get past the point where your loss occured. Also, whatever your feeling at any time in the process is normal and ok. Sometimes I feel guilty for being preg. again before my first baby would have been born, but then I remember that my baby in heaven wants me to be happy and have a little brother or sister for him. My other advice is to check out the ttc al board and then the pal board because those ladies are very understanding and know exactly what you're going through.

Sorry for the book. I hope it helps to read my story. Crossing my fingers to see you on the PAL board soon!! Good luck!

:angel7: 1/26/07 @ 13 weeks

Joined: 02/23/07
Posts: 24

PG and Loss MENT

My first child passed away at 28 weeks. My second pg was twins and I found out during my 12 week u/s that neither of them had HB. It was very hard to go through the losses but it really brought my DH and I together and gave us greater resolve in trying again. Right now I'm 28 weeks pg with a little boy and we can't be happier. I'm sorry for you losses and just want you to know that it depends on you and your SO on where you go from here. I hope you get everything you wish and my thoughts are with you.