Pregnancy loss (MC ment, ramble, question)

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Kitrinkles's picture
Joined: 06/02/05
Posts: 44
Pregnancy loss (MC ment, ramble, question)

Hi ladies. On Thursday I had an US to check dates and because my midwife could not find a heartbeat with the doppler the day before although my uterus measured 13 weeks. She wasn't worried she thought there was just too much "stuff" (probably a kind way of saying fat) in the way to hear it. Anyway, I got the the US and we found that the baby's heart had stopped beating, probably fairly recently. It was all really surreal...first of all, after I got the news, the Dr. made a rude comment. She asked if I had been having bleeding and I said no and that it was odd because I had bled with all my other pregnancies and she replied "I guess you'll have your bleeding later with this pregnancy" like it was a joke or something??? I thought it seemed very flip given the circumstances. She is not my regular Dr. I have a midwife, but the Dr. reads the US.

After they read my US and told me the baby had no heartbeat, they (meaning the DR and the US tech) asked me go back out in the WAITING ROOM! I couldn't believe it. Is that normal? To get this terrible news and have to go back out to the waiting room with pregnant moms and newborns? I had to wait in the waiting room for for about 30 minutes, so not a short time at all and my DH didn't think anything bad was going to happen at the US so he had dropped me off and taken our children for ice cream while I had the appt (our clinic/hospital is 45 minutes out of town for us) so I was all by myself trying to compose myself and take in the totally devastating and shocking news, I didn't even know how to react. Then I was asked to go to the Dr's office who had read my US. We talked for less than three minutes regarding my options, she suggested a DC very, very briefly described the procedure and told me she'd probably have an opening Tuesday (after I told her I could not do it the next day because it was DS birthday).

Anyway, the whole way I was treated at the clinic made this so much more painful, not that it's not bad enough on it's own. I just feel like the baby I lost was nothing to them and is totally disrespected. I had a loss before this, but it was earlier, I think having that first loss has somehow softened the blow of this loss, not that I don't feel horrible and sick about this loss, it's just that I think my innocence regarding "loss" was gone and I knew it was a possibility...although I still can't believe it has happened.

I do have a question for anyone who has had a DC....the DR told me she will numb the area "Down there" and I will also have an IV with a sedative in it. She asked me to get to the hospital 2 hours early and that I'll have to stay 1 hour after the procedure.

So questions about DC...how badly did it hurt? Could you see anything they were doing? I don't want to see anything. I just want to be as OUT as possible. How did you feel afterwards? Can I expect to do anything the next day? How badly did you bleed? I know it's a painful thing to discuss, and I understand if you don't feel like you can answer these questions.

Thanks very much.

-Kit

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

OMG Kit I am so sorry :comfort:

I had a D&C in 04 at 9 1/2 weeks and it was a very simple procedure. I had cramping and bleeding afterward like a moderate AF. I took it easy the day of and after, but on the third day I resumed normal activity.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss (((HUGS)))

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

:bighug:

I'm sorry you had to deal with such a rude doctor on top of losing your baby.

D&C for me has always been painless, they gave me good drugs I went to sleep they woke me up and I felt crampy but did not bleed real heavy. I think you can resume normal activities soon after since they usually use a lighter anesthesia than major surgery and also it depends on how well you tolerate the procedure.

:bighug:
Karen

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

I am so sorry for your loss.

:bighug:

I dont have any advice about the D&C, but i wanted to offer (((Hugs))).

The thing with the waiting room is just horrid. It's the same in the hospital where i was going when i had problems earlier on. They bring the people who have had good news and the people who have had bad news back into the same waiting room and it's awful! They should not do that at all.

If you arent confident that you know all there is to know about a D&C then please dont do it. Not that i'm against it or anything, cause i've never had to have one. I just mean that you should be confident in your own mind thsat you know exactly what is going to happen and what will happen afterwards etc. before you commit.

:giveflower:

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

I am so, so, sorry your baby has passed away :bighug:

The comment your doctor made about bleeding later??? I would report her to someone....what a horrible thing to say!!!! Your whole experience with them sounds horrible!!

As far as the D&C goes...DEMAND to be put OUT...Tell them you don't want to hear a thing!! I have had some docs say that they were gonna give me x drug, and that I may hear a few things....I was like ummm..not acceptable! I am already going through hell, and I want to be out....Needless to say, they complied...and knocked me out good!

Also, everyone reacts to the pain (physical) after the procedure, when the drugs have worn off, differently (depends on your pain tolerance) ...My pain tolerance stinks...So, I always request the strong meds (hydrocodone (sp?) and the like)

The bleeding will vary for each individual...Depends on how good of a job the doc does...

:comfort: Again, I am so sorry you had to suffer the loss of another little one Sad ...We are all here for you..

Marie

SparkIris's picture
Joined: 12/22/06
Posts: 35

How awful!! I had a really bad experience with my (FORMER) OB when I miscarried, so I know how it feels for someone to act like it's no big deal. The only thing I see that the doctor did right was to actually offer you the option for a D&C. Mine apparently didn't want to do it, so she presented it in such a way that I didn't really feel it was an option. I was 13 weeks as well and ended up having a natural m/c at home which was just devistating for both me and my husband (I found out later from my MIL that having it naturally in the hospital should have been an option, but that wasn't mentioned at all). There is no excuse for being treated so badly. My doctor was practicing on her own, so I just switched to another practice instead, but I think if it were a larger office, I would definitely put in a complaint...at least speak to your midwife about it. She should know how her patients are being treated.

Obviously, I don't have experience with the procedure, but I do know that I bled for 2 1/2 weeks and haven't come across anyone yet who bled that long after a D&C. I think I would call and talk to either a nurse at the office or your midwife and get your questions answered. I also agree with Marie, don't let them do it if you're not out completely.

I know tomorrow is going to be a difficult day for you, but I truly hope that it is as easy and painless as possible...you've been through enough already.

I am so,so sorry for your loss. Please pm me if you need to talk.

:angel7: 1/26/07 @ 13 weeks

Kitrinkles's picture
Joined: 06/02/05
Posts: 44

Thanks very much for the information and comforting words...

The prep nurse called me and amazingly she was incredibly kind and spent a long time discussing things with me. She told me I could definately request another US and I'm going to just for my own peace of mind, I think that's going to help me a lot. She was just totally the opposite of the DR who I had to deal with earlier, it helped so much just to have one kind person at the Dr's office.

Thanks again ladies, for sharing your own experiences, I know it's very painful to bring back those memories.

-Kit

CamelNoodle's picture
Joined: 07/28/04
Posts: 908

Kit,

I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry for your loss. As if a pregnancy loss isn't hard enough and then have to deal with bonehead medical professionals. I'm glad the nurse was much better. I hope the D&C goes smoothly and you make a full recovery soon! :giveflower:

Janel

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

I am glad to hear you have had a better experience with the nurse :bighug:

I also wanted to mention...That your hospital may have a program set up for all the babies that have passed on within the week?? not to sure as to how it works. Another poster posted that her hospital took part in this program...They have a burial/memorial service, for all the babies at once...

I am truly hoping for a miracle for you....Please let us know how you are when you can?

Marie

Hannah502's picture
Joined: 03/05/07
Posts: 66

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I too just got the news yesterday that there is no heartbeat for mine. I have had d&c before and it really was not bad, but I do agree with pp to sleep through it so you don't hear anything.

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

Thank you for the update. I'm so pleased you got to deal with someone nicer, i think it helps a lot. Smile

Kitrinkles's picture
Joined: 06/02/05
Posts: 44

(also posted on June 2006)
I just wanted to update you on the DC surgery. It went fine, I didn't realize how much protocol there is to any kind of surgery, good grief. We had to get there two hours before the surgery and just waited around in my gown (the gowns looked like vacuum cleaner bags, they even had a hole where a special warming or cooling tube was placed and you could control your temperature, weird).

Anyway, the surgery was totally painless, I was entirely out, asleep I don't remember anything. I'm currently in no physical pain. The Dr. didn't talk to me afterwards, which makes me a bit mad, but she did speak to Aaron and told him the baby probably passed about a week ago. The hospital staff was exceedingly nice to me, they repeatedly told me how sorry they were and we seemed like such a nice family it was so sad, etc. They gave me a book on miscarriage and a little envelope with a tiny gold ring inside to represent the baby I lost.

Emotionally, I'm doing OK. The nurse spoke with me afterwards and she told me it's very normal to have ups and downs, one minute feeling OK and one minute feeling all the sadness come crashing back. Thanks so much for your kind thoughts and prayers...I thought about all of you and appreciated your support as I was waiting for the surgery to happen.

Uropachild's picture
Joined: 08/09/05
Posts: 1176

Thank you for letting us know how it went. It sounds like they are very sensitive to women going through this, which is something to be grateful for i suppose. I know a lot of places are far too clinical and dont acknowledge the pain a person is feeling. I know it doesnt bring your baby back, but perhaps it helps a little.

:bighug:

putney1477's picture
Joined: 01/03/07
Posts: 42

I'm so sorry for your loss. Noone should have to go thru that. I can't believe they made you go back to the waiting room?!

I had a D&C at 13 wk 6 days. I had minor cramping/spotting for about a week after. They put me OUT, I had the choice. I didn't want to see or hear what they were doing.

Heather

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Kit-- I didn't even know you had m/ced and I am sorry if I missed your post on the Feb board.

I wanted to extend my sincere thoughts to you and your family. :bigarmhug: