of going through. Hi all, I guess this is the spot where I belong now. the other night I felt a
gush. Of which was not reg. fluids. I was terrified and proceeded
to the E.R after approximatly 5 hours I was informed that my family
would not be expanding. the doctors did an U.S and told me that
although they saw the little bean.. they no longer saw a heartbeat.
and so I am now feeling crushed. wanting something that was not
planned, and feeling like maybe all my questioning of what to do
could have caused this. I guess i m just reaching out. I have
serious feelings of resentment and anger twords dh b/c he got the
big v 3 days b /f we found out i was expecting. And now its gone...
my last chance of a biological with my dh is gone. and his words to
me were "OMG... honey i'm so sorry for your loss," as i lay in the
bed cring last night... My loss what happened to the our?? They
have opted to do nothing and let nature run its course. in a couple
of days they are making me come back in and have some test to ensure
that my levels are going down. the Dr. did tell me that there was a
very very very minute chance that she simply was wrong but my levels
on friday would determine that.
And so i'm here, kind of dazed and confused, hurt, feeling
resentful, and just like my world was turned upside down. its funny
how something that was not planned, and not expected can make you
feel so crummy when its taken away.
Thats all. Please keep me and the fam in your thoughts and prayers.
mommy to Tyler (9), Alexis (5), Nick (3), and Ryan (9mths)