rant/vent/no reply needed

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
rant/vent/no reply needed

Why don't people bring up my daughter? No one mentions her name? It's like she never really existed. I saw the heart beat. I delivered her at 16 weeks. I held her in my arms. I have pictures of her small body. But family and friends act as if she was never here. It hurts. It makes me want her more because no one acknowledges her presence. I have cried a lot today over her loss again. I am sad and missing her but I am also sick so that probably has a lot to do with my depressive mood. Fever and migraine.

Has anyone just wanted to scream at people I have a daughter but she died and is in heaven? I wonder sometimes what people would say or do if I just yelled it out. I am suppose to be moving into the acceptance phase but how can I accept her death when the people around me haven't even accepted that I had a daughter and lost her. People her name is Rebecca. I would love for you to use her name, not just the baby. Maybe I am not at the acceptance phase maybe I am at the anger stage, the piss off stage, the this isn't fair and how come it happened to me phase.

This isn't how life is suppose to be for any of us. No one deserves to lose a baby or to experience a loss of such sadness.

Thanks for letting me vent. I hope I didn't bring anyone down.
Robin

Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 371

Sometimes you need to bring her up to them because they are afraid of saying anything to you.

Hope the rest of your day gets better.

Antionette

SAHM2AZL&K's picture
Joined: 06/08/05
Posts: 32

I am Sorry No One talks about your Precious Rebecca :bawl: I started just talking about her to people & telling them it's OK to say her name or ask me questions. I also told them that your words can NOT hurt me anymore than I already hurt. Then some people were still uncomfortable but others would ask or mention my DD :bigarmhug: When they did I made sure to tell them how much it meant to me that the remembered her :? HTH Just tell people you want to talk about Rebecca & ask them to include her in conversations. Tell them It's OK :bigarmhug: Yes, I am have wanted to scream at people to remember ....I do now correct people when they forget too Biggrin

~Heidi

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm sorry.

My SIL lost twin boys at 24 weeks. She said she got a call one day from the hospital wanting to know if she had added them to her insurance. It made her sad, yet happy someone had called to ask about them.

shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

"tlmommy" wrote:

Sometimes you need to bring her up to them because they are afraid of saying anything to you.

Hope the rest of your day gets better.

Antionette

I totally agree with Antoinette. I am very in your face about it sometimes. Whenever asked if I have children I reply with "Two living" as it makes the point that I have lost a child. I also have a picture of Damien on my desk at work so that everyone sees him. I have it tilted so that customers and coworkers are able to see it. It did take a while before people realized that they could talk about Damien without devastating me. Now, we regularly talk about what he would be doing now if he were (fill in age). I really really hope that the fever and the migraine get better soon.
shelly