Sad to be joining you

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
Sad to be joining you

I had a checkup today, and they were unable to find heartbeats for my twins, so they sent me over to ultrasound where it was comfirmed that sometime in the last week I lost both of my babies. I am opting for a D&C sometime in the next few days, and they will be doing genetic testing. I have a feeling though since they were Mono twins, that there was a cord accident between the two of them. I also think they were girls. It would stand to reason with my luck that these would be girls after having boys in the past and wanting a little girl so bad. So when pathology comes back I plan on finding the sex out and naming them both. I am utterly heartbroken tonight. I knew there was a very good chance this could happen as Mono mono twins are so high risk, and I honestly thought I had prepared myself, but It completely blindsided me when I saw how still they were on the ultrasound. I knew as soon as I saw them they were gone. This is my first loss, and all of the emotions are strange to me. I want them out of me and this to be done with ASAP, but then I want to keep them forever cause they are my babies. I am fine one minute and a wreck the next. All I can say is that this sucks so bad:(

kiss_the_fiddler's picture
Joined: 11/06/07
Posts: 153

Oh . . . I am so sorry for your loss. I think naming the lost ones can be healing. I hope that you're gentle with yourself during this rough time. Ask for help when you need it. I'm here for you.

lcmancini's picture
Joined: 11/07/06
Posts: 197

I am so horribly sorry for you loss. I used to be able to say that without having tears come to my eyes, and truthfully mean it. But I could never imagine how hard something like this can be. My heart goes out to you. I wish there was something better or more meaningful to say, but I have no idea what that could be. I read your post yesterday, but didn't respond because I wasn't able to. Today, I read your response to my post, and thought that you might have needed some kind words, and I'm sorry I didn't give you that. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I hope that your recovery after the D&C goes well.


Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Thank you everyone and Lisa, please don't feel bad about not posting earlier. This is just a very sucky thing for anyone to ever have to go through. Its nice to have a place to go when you are feeling a bit down, and there are others there that can relate and help you through the tough times.

Joined: 07/27/10
Posts: 3

Annie, I remember you from one of the summer 2011 boards, and I am so sorry for your loss. I had my second miscarriage in January and I know how hard it is. Take good care of yourself right now. Feel what you feel, and don't pressure yourself to get back on your feet before you're ready. We are always here to listen.

min150mph's picture
Joined: 09/08/07
Posts: 72

I am so sorry for your loss. Lots of HUGS to you. It is never an easy thing and each one leave their own mark and memory on you.

I'm currently waiting to m/c myself as I don't want to do another D&C, I've had 2 before due to the age of the baby being much farther along. This one stopped growing at 6w. But I've now waited almost 3 weeks (2 weeks knowing) and nothing and starting to consider a D&C.

I hope you've recovered physically now from your D&C and that you got some answers.

MissyJ's picture
Joined: 01/31/02
Posts: 3234

I apologize for not posting sooner. I hate that any of you have had to endure a loss. Please post when you are able and let us know how you are doing or how we may support you.


FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

I am also late posting to this, but wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. :bigarmhug: How are you feeling?