so sad

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Joined: 04/17/08
Posts: 10
so sad

Hi I just lost my little bean today and I am heart broken. I am angry and shocked. This was an unplanned pregnancy and very short but it doesn't lesson the pain. I can't imagine if more time had gone by how much harder this would be. I have spent the past 5 days going thru this and i just have to say to all the lady's experiencing this that I am sorry.
I felt like this was a fluke and my chance to have the one more I have wanted for years. My fiancee doesn't want anymore so I think thats why it's so hard. I feel extremely irratated and angry towards him and I know it's not his fault but he doesn't feel the same way that I do. He's probably relieved. I keep crying and I am at work. I think I will need to go home soon. I have a job interview tommorow and I just pray that I will be emotionally stable and atleast be able to act positive. I really want this job. Thanks for listening. Hugs.

MrsSchepp's picture
Joined: 12/30/06
Posts: 496

*hugs* i just lost my little bean about 6 days ago Sad it is so, so hard and so, so sad. i'm saying a prayer for you...

deborah74's picture
Joined: 12/14/05
Posts: 698

:bigarmhug:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

So sorry for your loss... Sad

I'm exactly the same at work right now. I'm wondering how I'm going to keep it together each day. But take it slow, one day, one hour at a time. I've had some ups and downs since the m/c (3 weeks ago), and right now I'm at one of the lowest lows. I can't really imagine it getting any worse, getting any more sad than I am right now. I know things will turn around eventually...

Hang in there and definitely come here to vent and talk with us, it's a great place.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am sorry for your loss!

vbear's picture
Joined: 01/22/05
Posts: 83

so sorry for your loss

nurseapril's picture
Joined: 01/25/07
Posts: 48

:bighug:

I am so sorry.

April

Latte lover's picture
Joined: 11/08/07
Posts: 5

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, and that your fiance is not sad with you right now (it's hard to be sad alone). Well, you're not alone - we can all be sad together, and we'll get through this!

Joined: 06/10/07
Posts: 1692

So very sorry for your loss. :bighug:

________________
-Julie

Joined: 02/05/06
Posts: 33

Big hugs to you. It will get easier. Know that you are not alone. So sorry...

Erin~mom to angel babies Quinn and Elliot

Joined: 07/27/06
Posts: 722

Im so sorry for your loss!

tina_haley_n_beanz_mommy's picture
Joined: 11/14/06
Posts: 212

:bighug: I am so sorry for you loss.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
This is long -- sorry -- but you've touched on so many things...

I'm SO sorry for your loss. You're right: even when it happens early in pregnancy, it still hurts so horribly. The fact is that, as the mother, we bonded with our little beans right away: we loved them as soon as we first 'felt pregnant'.

And when the baby was one we wanted for a long time, it hurts even more -- we feel 'cheated' somehow. We might fear 'it's too late'. It seems so unfair.

I threw myself into work right away too -- largely, to try to take my mind off of my loss. I ended up doing a crappy job, receiving my first ever official warning from a boss, AND I stayed stuck in my grief -- a triple whammy. It sucked!

We're all different and maybe you're still able to give 100% to your job, and I totally admire that. But if not, well ... maybe it's time for a little break. If you can't afford that right now, maybe you can lessen your hours for the time being. Honestly, more than anything else at our time of loss, what we need most is time to heal . You've already taken the first (and most courageous) step in doing so -- by writing here. Please keep us posted -- we are your community, and we care about you. Writing here will help you shift through your grief -- this board has helped me far more than anything else I've tried (and I've done nearly all of the suggested things).

And there are lots of extra, suggested things that can help us through our grief: just ask away, and we'll give you plenty of lovely ideas. They all help.

Finally, I'm not making excuses here, but men simply grieve differently (scroll down the list of threads, and check out 'How Men Cope With Grief' -- a real eye opener). It makes it all even harder when we feel angry and alone in our grief, so I hope you'll be able to tell DH how you feel. You might even want to do that in a counsellor's office, if that would help. Harbouring a resentment (which seems so natural for us humans) only serves to make our suffering worse. Many of us here on this board were equally confused about our DH's apparent lack of grief -- however, many of us have also ended up becoming CLOSER to our DH's afterward -- closer than we were even BEFORE the loss! Really!!

Hang in there. It will get better. You'll see.

Love,
Nicole