Some do get it! (baby ment)

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Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 371
Some do get it! (baby ment)

Well, when I returned to work in Oct. there was a teacher on stafff who was preg. Oddly enough her pg didn't bother me. I think it is the way she was with me. She had genuine tears to share with me and seemed somewhat respectful of my space. While she was pg, another staff member who had her baby (sometime in august - the month I delivered Lily) dropped into school unexpectedly and I ran out of the staff room. This happened again with a male staff member whose wife came in.

Well I guess the teacher whose pg didn't bother me) got the hint. She had her baby girl in January. I just got an email from her giving me the date that she plans on coming into the school and the length of time she expects to be there. How thoughtful is she. I actually will try to see her little girl if I can handle it. I emailed back thanking her and told her that if I could handle it I would come into the staffroom and if not I'd stay clear. Her classroom is right outside my office so I am so relieved to know when she is coming.

Send big hugs to this person who is considerate of my feelings and doesn't expect that I should be over it by now!


HopefullySoon's picture
Joined: 01/31/08
Posts: 163

That is sweet and very thoughtful of her. For every person that doesn't get it, there is one person that does. Those people make all the difference in the world.

Joined: 11/19/05
Posts: 456

What a wonderful person.... Smile I wonder if she has experienced loss herself? Or maybe a close family member....

Whatever the case, I am very happy she is being so considerate of you...your loss.


Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

that's really nice of her. like PP said, maybe she'd experienced a loss herself?

rubber_da_glove's picture
Joined: 12/31/07
Posts: 1527

Thats really nice of her! It's a shame everyone can't be that respectful!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well since we are talking about this....

How many of you have made IRL friends because you share the commonality of loss? I have two. My SIL is one. How on earth are you ever supposed to tell those people you are pregnant again and consider their feelings at the same time? I personally wouldn't be bothered by either one of them being pregnant, because I know the hurt they have felt. But what is they don't feel the same way I do. What if knowing I am pg just hurts them? There is no way to expect everyone to understand or to respond the way I might respond, KWIM?

I am glad you have someone that is considerate of you. I am certain she has experienced loss herself, because if you haven't you just don't get it.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Good for that woman to be so considerate!

(preg mentioned)
Mom22Boys+1Angel ~
Yes I have friends IRL that have experienced losses and when I was blessed with another pregnancy they were elated. Its something about the bond we make when we have experienced a loss. 2 of my IRL friends got pregnant before I did, and I tell you there was noone happier for them then me!
I would say you just have to be kind and cautious when you "break the news". I let me friends know how much I didnt want to hurt them, but that I had great news.....etc

Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 371

I too have gained IRL relationships. It is true that it would be tough to tell them you are expecting but I think that if you have an open relationship and you ask them how they would feel and be open and up front when it does happen.

I'm still not quite ready to ttc yet but I too would be happy for any of them (Robin you're one of my IRL- via phone friends - so if and when enquiring minds want to know). I think that is the reason I am okay on the ttc board and the parenting after loss board. I am just so grateful that those people had healthy children.

I am amazed by how many people IRL have shared their loss experience with me. Even last night, I was at a sleep clinic and the technician shared that he and his wife had lost a child. It is like beoming part of a community (although I still wish none of us need to be part of it!)


Lily Maria Kathleen :angel1: August 10, 2007

StephanieJune's picture
Joined: 01/19/08
Posts: 103

I wish my friends IRL could understand, but they just can't. We're still teenagers, and none of them have ever been pregnant; they are still virgins. I feel like I am the odd one out. I am the only one who chose to have sex before marriage. I am the only one who had an unplanned pregnancy. I am the only one who had a miscarriage.

vbear's picture
Joined: 01/22/05
Posts: 83

what an awesome lady,wish there were more out there like her

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I think it is wonderful that she emailed you. How respectful of her to think about you in all of her excitement.

Its nice to know some people do REALLY get it!

As for letting friends know, I don't think I will until after my cerclage, just in case. I know that the ones that I am close with will understand and be supportive. Its that bond of loss that keeps us close. Its also wanting them to be happy again, no matter what.


Joined: 05/04/06
Posts: 250

That was very nice of her. Its good to know that some people do get it.

(Preg. ment)
I have one IRL friend that I actually met because of Savannah. She is just now about 12 weeks pregnant and I couldnt be more excited for her. I think it is easier to be excited for someone who has felt the same pain & so badly deserves a little one.


shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

I am so glad to hear that there are still some caring and tender and considerate people left in the world.

How are you doing?