Well, when I returned to work in Oct. there was a teacher on stafff who was preg. Oddly enough her pg didn't bother me. I think it is the way she was with me. She had genuine tears to share with me and seemed somewhat respectful of my space. While she was pg, another staff member who had her baby (sometime in august - the month I delivered Lily) dropped into school unexpectedly and I ran out of the staff room. This happened again with a male staff member whose wife came in.
Well I guess the teacher whose pg didn't bother me) got the hint. She had her baby girl in January. I just got an email from her giving me the date that she plans on coming into the school and the length of time she expects to be there. How thoughtful is she. I actually will try to see her little girl if I can handle it. I emailed back thanking her and told her that if I could handle it I would come into the staffroom and if not I'd stay clear. Her classroom is right outside my office so I am so relieved to know when she is coming.
Send big hugs to this person who is considerate of my feelings and doesn't expect that I should be over it by now!
How many of you have made IRL friends because you share the commonality of loss? I have two. My SIL is one. How on earth are you ever supposed to tell those people you are pregnant again and consider their feelings at the same time? I personally wouldn't be bothered by either one of them being pregnant, because I know the hurt they have felt. But what is they don't feel the same way I do. What if knowing I am pg just hurts them? There is no way to expect everyone to understand or to respond the way I might respond, KWIM?
I am glad you have someone that is considerate of you. I am certain she has experienced loss herself, because if you haven't you just don't get it.
Yes I have friends IRL that have experienced losses and when I was blessed with another pregnancy they were elated. Its something about the bond we make when we have experienced a loss. 2 of my IRL friends got pregnant before I did, and I tell you there was noone happier for them then me!
I would say you just have to be kind and cautious when you "break the news". I let me friends know how much I didnt want to hurt them, but that I had great news.....etc
I too have gained IRL relationships. It is true that it would be tough to tell them you are expecting but I think that if you have an open relationship and you ask them how they would feel and be open and up front when it does happen.
I'm still not quite ready to ttc yet but I too would be happy for any of them (Robin you're one of my IRL- via phone friends - so if and when enquiring minds want to know). I think that is the reason I am okay on the ttc board and the parenting after loss board. I am just so grateful that those people had healthy children.
I am amazed by how many people IRL have shared their loss experience with me. Even last night, I was at a sleep clinic and the technician shared that he and his wife had lost a child. It is like beoming part of a community (although I still wish none of us need to be part of it!)
I wish my friends IRL could understand, but they just can't. We're still teenagers, and none of them have ever been pregnant; they are still virgins. I feel like I am the odd one out. I am the only one who chose to have sex before marriage. I am the only one who had an unplanned pregnancy. I am the only one who had a miscarriage.