Taking a break - multiple miscarriages

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sunnycrest's picture
Joined: 11/13/05
Posts: 57
Taking a break - multiple miscarriages

I haven't posted here since my last loss.

I have now had 3 miscarriages in a row. Sad

6 weeks - Nov 2008
16 weeks - my daughter - 11th April 2009
10 weeks - 22nd August 2009

I got married last year 30th August 2008 and since then I have spent 32 weeks of the past year pregnant. I seriously can not keep doing this. I am taking a break. I am so so sick of either being miserable, depressed and just not enjoying life. I have a 3 year old daughter who needs a happy Mum.

I have had all the testing done after my second loss. Autopsy, blood tests, chromosones (Dh included), clotting disorder, Lupus and on and on. They all came back clear. The consultant even said to me that he would bet his last £100 that my next pregnancy would be just fine. He was wrong. I miscarried......again.

They are doing the same tests again for me in October and took away all the tissue i passed during my medical management of my last miscarriage. However I am not even interested in any answers at the moment. I just want to forget about the whole TTC for a long time. I don't even know 100% if I want to try again. After the first two losses I was desperate to try again straight away, but this time i feel very differently.

So I just wanted to hang out here a little and say "hi".

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am sorry honey. Sometimes we need a break to heal and start fresh.
Keep in touch and we are always here for a hug.

cdokter's picture
Joined: 02/18/08
Posts: 126

I'm so sorry. I know how you feel. I waited a year between my first and second loss. Now, I'm waiting again and I feel like I have limited time. Yet, I"m not ready and I don't know if I ever will be. It's just too hard. Take your time. Go with your feelings.

min150mph's picture
Joined: 09/08/07
Posts: 72

{{{HUGS}}} - I'm so sorry for your losses. I know the testing can be really rough especially when nothing is showing up. I know I had nothing show up and it was of no help. I did later learn the reason why, but that was then due to an infertility work up.

Testing mentioned:
If you later decide you want to do some kind of testing again - you might ask for an image of your uterus to make sure there is not any anomalies there that might cause an issue, such as scar tissue, etc.

Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 66

I am so sorry to hear that.

I just experienced my first loss (missed miscarriage at 12 weeks 4 days) and I am taking a break too (when I was going through the whole D+C all I could think was "I'm adopting the next one.")

I am terrified of experiencing another m/c, so I definitely think it would be normal to want to take a long break after 3.

If all your tests came back normal, maybe you are just in that extremely unlucky percentage of people this happens to by chance...and all your other pregnancies WILL be just fine.

My husband has a friend whose daughter lived only 7 hours after giving birth. They then experienced a miscarriage. Finally, they decided to try again and they have a son. I don't know if that's inspirational in any way, but I hope it is-it was to me!

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

I am so very sorry :bighug:

I understand where you are coming from on the "not wanting to ttc again" anytime soon. After several chemical pg'cies and then this most recent loss that was so long and drawn out due to it being twins and everything I went through physically and emotionally, I don't know when I'll be ready to ttc again. The doctor recommended waiting at least 3 cycles, so we will see how I feel after those 3 cycles (just had the 1st one) .

Enjoy your break and everything you can do while not pregnant :bigarmhug:

And again, I can't possibly express just how sorry I am for everything you've had to go through.

AJsmommy's picture
Joined: 05/08/07
Posts: 289

Oh no. I am so sad to read this. I hadn't heard you lost your baby Sarah because I haven't been back to the March board since my own loss. It was also my 3rd (1st at 16w, 2nd at 5w, and 3rd at 8w). I'm having some testing done, but I don't know if I can keep putting myself through this whether they find something or not. I know just what you mean. I was so eager to try again after the first two, but not now. I just don't really have any hope left.

Please PM me if you ever want to talk.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I had 4 miscarriages in a row. Turned out that my first one was not a complete one and all my subsequent pregnancy losses were from tissue that never let go of my uterus. They completed a D&C for my fourth one and thats when they found it! Did you ever have a D&C for any of your miscarriages? Maybe look into a hysteroscopy....that was what really found it, then they did the D&C!

Good luck and I wish you all the peace and comfort you need at this time in your life!

Joined: 07/27/07
Posts: 4

I am so sorry to hear about your losses. I will pray that you find comfort and healing during this time.

Legal Gal's picture
Joined: 06/24/09
Posts: 56

I'm sorry to hear about your loss... I remember you from the March board. It is sad to see others joining me here. It is not a group we ever want to be in, but it is nice to have the support of others going through a similar situation.

Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 66

I'm so sorry to hear that too.
I was also on the March board, but m/c on August 26.
I hemorrhaged really badly when I m/c'd, so I was told to take a break for 6 months until I get my blood back...and that's ok with me, since I am not ready to be pregnant again either.

I did read that a tiny percentage of women miscarries multiple times in a row just by chance (really, really, really bad luck).

I'm terrified of finding out if I'm in that percentage (hence not being ready to get pregnant again).

sunnycrest's picture
Joined: 11/13/05
Posts: 57

Thanks everyone. I have had all my results back now and apparently i am just very unlucky and there is no medical reason why i have had three in a row. They have all been different and unlinked apparently. No cause, no treatment. Just awful luck.

Still having a rest from it all though.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Hi, I am so sorry to hear about your losses. I will pray for you and your family .

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Hugs. Sometimes, not having answers is worse then knowing. If you know, you can do something. I feel your pain. It does f*cking suck! Nothing else to say.

sunnycrest's picture
Joined: 11/13/05
Posts: 57

I know. I am glad there is nothing wrong with me, but on the other hand it would be nice to have some sort of treatment that would reassure me and give me some answers. But I haven't got that. So yes. It is utterly sh1te.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Oh gosh Sarah I am so very sorry to read such sad news, having been gone for so long I had no idea, Huge hugs sweetie xxxxx

butterflykissesx6's picture
Joined: 06/28/07
Posts: 509

Boy, you have really been through alot. :openarms: to you.....