My therapist is pregnant.
Don't get me wrong I AM very excited for her, but she has been my therapist since losing my daughter in 2007. I have recently had a d/e for another loss and today I found out, through her, that she is 22 weeks pregnant. I feel jealous and a little angry for some reason. She knows everything about me and how frustrated I am with everyone around me becoming pregnant. I felt like a knife in my heart today during therapy. Why?
After she told me she wanted to know if I had any thoughts.....thoughts of course but how can I take a happy moment away from someone because of my selfish jealous self. I am just angry that it hasn't happened to us! Why do some people have no problem getting pregnant and then deliver a happy healthy baby and some of us (like me) have to do IVF and shots and hormones and still end up with nothing but dead memories and empty arms?
My issue now is..Can I continue to see her and watch her belly grow along with my jealousy? I really like her and have come so far in my therapy with depression and anxiety but what if seeing her causes more harm then good. It still hurts at times to be around a pregnant women. How can I be honest with her when I feel so bad for feeling this way?
If you got this far thanks for reading.