They existed! (child ment.)
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  1. #1
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    Default They existed! (child ment.)

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    Last edited by Rori; 02-02-2008 at 11:52 PM.

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    Super Poster newbie2all's Avatar
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    So sorry its a bad day today. I just wanted to let you know that I acknowledge Hannah and Andrew's presence in this world, no matter how brief it was. They are special and rightly so. Men do not often understand what is so far away from what they know. My DH has no idea how conception even occurs other than sperm meets egg. As women experiencing loss we know alot more about our bodies and we develop a special bond with our babies. Cherish it forever even when the others don't get it.

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    Prolific Poster batgirlandrobin's Avatar
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    I so glad you posted this!! I feel the same way! DH and I were married only weeks before expecting our first which we lost at 6 weeks pregnant, then we waited a year and conceived again...this time the pregnancy lasted til we were 3 months along...again it ended in the loss of our baby. My parents believe us to be the parents of 4 children, just two aren't with us...why can't the rest of the world see it that way!? They WERE and ARE our children...it's maddening isn't it? I feel like just because they didn't make it to "birth" our children aren't validated as being humans...our CHILDREN that we miss... I'm so sorry for your losses but I want you to know...I feel the exact same way! You couldn't have put it any better!

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    Posting Addict Uropachild's Avatar
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    I'm sorry you're having problems getting people to acknowledge your full family. What do you say when people ask how many children you have? I only ask because i've started to say "I have none living", so you could say "I have one living". I know it doesnt matter as much to strangers though. It's your family you need to realise this the most isnt it?

    I hope i don't have problems like that. No one has yet tried to tell me that i'm not a mum because people are still quite careful about what they say, but if they do i am prepared to correct them. Just because i dont have my babies with my in this life does not mean that i am not a mother. I made two people. End of.

    It's the same for you. You made 3 people. I really hope your family can learn to talk about your other babies. It's hard when people are uncomfortable with loss. Even if they believe that you shouldnt include them as part of your family they should totally respect your wishes about Andrew and Hannah.


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    Posting Addict shellyhudson's Avatar
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    Vent away!!! You are a mother of three. Never let anyone make you feel any different. My friend is no less of a mother because her little boy died from SIDS. No one says that she isn't a mother anymore. Your losses are no different. Men do grieve differently and it can be beyond frustrating. I am so sorry that you are having such a horrid day. I wish you peace.

    Shelly

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    Prolific Poster careyayn22's Avatar
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    I am so sorry. I wish people would be more sensitive, but dealing with baby loss is really hard for some people to acknowledge. I have said something similar to what Sarah has said, "I have none living."


    PG MENT:

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    Being pg now, I am asked constantly if this is my first pg or babies (twins). I am pretty used to it now, but it is hard every time I am asked. I always say that my first child was stillborn. Some people are really good acknowledging what I just said and some people just skim right over it like they didn't even hear me. It is strange.

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    Prolific Poster abbyrocks2427's Avatar
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    you have all the right to vent and rant....I feel the same even though I didnt get to know my babys sex cause it was to small at the time(12wks) I feel as though my baby existed as well and Im a mother no matter what even if my child is not with me...I named my baby angel(I felt it was a boy) But at the same tiime I feel angel to be a name for both Boy or girl...but sweetie im really sorry for both your losses....

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    Mega Poster mommyx6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uropachild View Post
    I'm sorry you're having problems getting people to acknowledge your full family. What do you say when people ask how many children you have? I only ask because i've started to say "I have none living", so you could say "I have one living". I know it doesnt matter as much to strangers though. It's your family you need to realise this the most isnt it?

    I hope i don't have problems like that. No one has yet tried to tell me that i'm not a mum because people are still quite careful about what they say, but if they do i am prepared to correct them. Just because i dont have my babies with my in this life does not mean that i am not a mother. I made two people. End of.

    It's the same for you. You made 3 people. I really hope your family can learn to talk about your other babies. It's hard when people are uncomfortable with loss. Even if they believe that you shouldnt include them as part of your family they should totally respect your wishes about Andrew and Hannah.

    I say I have 6 children 5 living.I leave it at that. I am looking into having my ring with ehr name engraved in it as I have 1 spot left.

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    Post removed.
    Last edited by Rori; 02-02-2008 at 11:53 PM.

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    Hugs. I think unless you have experienced a loss you don't get it, and men experience it completely different than we do. I think miscarriage and loss can be so foreign to ppl that they don't want to acknowledge it because it makes THEM uncomfortable, and how sad is that.

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