I'll Love You Forever, I'll Like You For Always, As Long As I'm Living, My Baby You'll Be
I know the "hate" feeling all too well also. I do still haven moments of resent, and it is hard feeling that way, because it is so against my person that it feels as though it is not relly me, if that makes sense.
Hugs, I've had the hate feeling going on myself, and then I feel guilty for that. As to the blanket, that would be a very nice thing to do, if you are up to it. For me, it might make me more depressed each time I worked on it. But if your friend is such a good friend, she will realize the effort involved in making the blanket and really cherish it. I think she gets that you are not ready. Hugs!
I have the start of the blanket shoved in my closet, so I haven't really looked at it. But it is lurking there and taking up a pair of knitting needles that I like and I can't bring myself to unravel it. I make things, I can't sit still and do nothing with my hands. Jewelry, knitting, origami, all products of hours of sitting and studying. I think I will finish the blanket though, I hate not finishing things and I can't have it lurking in my closet anymore, it's driving me slightly batty.
I'm sure my friend knows why I haven't really talked to her and realizes how it hurts me right now. But I am equally aware that my not talking to her is hurting her. I think by nature I am a very giving person as well as a very logical one, and jealousy that is illogical is very much against my nature. I still feel it. At the same time I'm very sorry that I'm hurting her.