Hi all, I have been gone a while. I have been doing good. As the time creeps closer to when Joy was due I find my heart aching. I am a fraid to tell anyone because I should be "over" it by now. We have family coming in the weekend if the edd. Hopefully they will be a great distaction. I just needed to asy how I was feeling to those who understand,Thanks
I'm so sorry for your loss My EDD was this past Saturday, and it wasn't too bad. I cried a lot on Friday. but the EDD wasn't so bad. Saturday was a huge cookout\birthday party at my MIL's, and Sunday was a bridal shower with my family. So of course, we were surrounded by family all weekend. I was terrified that everyone would be asking (because obviously everyone knew what happened, I haven't seen them in a long time - let alone it was my EDD.) No one said anything. Which in one way was a good thing - but in another way it was really sad. I feel like everyone else gets to move on, but I'm stuck. Oh well. I think it's really the kind of thing that you don't truly understand until you've been there. Thank goodness for this board!
My EDD was just this past 20th. It wasn't so bad during the day. I had a very important meeting and just tried to keep myself busy. I had a really hard time that evening. I cried my eyes out.
Don't ever let anyone tell you that you "should be over it by now". I may get to the point where I can cope every day, but I will never be over the loss of our son. My family will forever be fractured. We will all heal so that the burning pain lessens in intensity but there will always be an integral part of us missing.
Sending big cyber hugs your way. Cry on our shoulders any time you need.
My first EDD is also coming. I find myself focused on getting pregnant again, trying to somehow wish I would be pregnant for my EDD. This is nonesense I know. I also know it won't change how I feel about my first loss on that day. 13 weeks I carried that little one and soon he/she should be here. Unfortunately, I will have to wait for this angel.
I am trying to think of the EDD in a positive way but it's hard. But somehow we have to celebrate the life of our little ones as it was precious and on the day when our little one should be joining us in the world I am going to try to imagine he/she is finally getting their wings in heaven. It will be the day I will realize my little one isn't coming and that will be the hardest part. I can only try to remind myself of the happiness I felt when he/she was still here.