Well it's that time of year again, this week is full of so many bad memories, today is the day that my world was torn apart after finding out my dear sweet boy Charlie had spina bifida 5 years ago, after making the heart wrenching decision terminate my sweet boy was born silent on 12th October, I will always remember that beautiful little face. I miss him so much and there's not a day goes by that I don't think about him. I have no regrets about what I did the only regret I have is that I never held him, I would give anything in this world to go back to that moment and hold my precious son. It feels so hard that I have two beautiful children who will never get to meet him, my soon to be 7 year old ds knows a little about him and has even spoke about him at school as his brother who has the hole in his back, I was a little taken aback when a teacher approached me on the subject and said that he was really upset, but I just don't know how to even talk to him about it as it's still so hard for me.
3 years ago on the 9th October my lovely nana died after a long battle, I hardly even shed a tear when she died as I knew she was going to take care of him just as she did me for all those years, I have so many wonderful memories of when I lived with my nana and grandad and I just know he'll be safe with them until my time comes.