Today was my Big Ultrasound Appointment

7 posts / 0 new
Last post
Joined: 04/21/08
Posts: 5
Today was my Big Ultrasound Appointment

Today I would have found out that I was having a son... I had my ticker up counting down the day on my birth board, I was excited that I would finally get some good pictures of the baby and how thrilled I was to be finding out the sex.

I would have been so so excited to come home and tell my S/O that he is finally having the son he wanted and I wanted to see how his face would have lit up and I bet how he was would have changed just by finding out he was having a son...

Instead I am trying not to cry everyday and just trying to get back to normal...Still arguing with his azz, looking for a place to stay and wondering why is all of this happening..... The only two emotions I feel are:angry5: and :sad11:.

I miss my son....his father has not even mourned for him yet. He says the reason he hasn't mourned is because all I do is tell him how he is so f*cked up for what he has done. He tells me its MY fault tht he has not been able to mourn. It is not my faault that three days after giving birth and losing McKinley, I find pictures of you and some broad in your phone. I normally don't snoop around but something tht day told me to look at his phone. I guess its true what they say...seek and you shall find....

It hurts me that in the midst of all this he has not even come to me and just said I miss him, cry, something..instead he just lashes out at me like I did something wrong. granted I lash out at him daily but it is for things that he know he is wrong for doing...

Anyway, thats my little update.....

Joined: 05/02/07
Posts: 46

Im so sorry you are going through all of this!! :bigarmhug:

Joined: 01/25/02
Posts: 2023

Hugs Nikki. I am so sorry. I'm sorry that your dh is choosing to project blame onto you for his own choices. Hugs and prayers!

squirlyj's picture
Joined: 11/06/05
Posts: 121

I'm so sorry things are so crappy right now Sad

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm so sorry. As I'm learning, men deal with things in very different ways than we do. I know that I want to talk about how I'm feeling but my DH doesn't and (to me anyway) it translates that he just doesn't care - but I know that isn't true.

I know I'm new here and I don't know you but I just wanted to offer my support. I'm so sorry for all of the things that you are dealing with.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm so sorry for all the pain you are going through right now. I wish I could make it go away for you, or find the right words to say, but I simply can't do either.

Please just know that you have my sincere compassion, and that I'm thinking of you. Losing a baby and having relationship difficulties are both VERY sad and scary things.

I'm glad you've written here. Venting is very healthy, and this is a very appropriate place to do it. We're all here for you, and we're going to help you through this.

Great big bear hugs,
Nicole

shellyhudson's picture
Joined: 01/13/07
Posts: 814

I am so very sorry. :bigarmhug: