that Tessa was supposed to be born. I thought I was going to be ok...but I am not. I cannot stop crying. DH tried to console me by talking about Avery (our daughter that we will be adopting from China) but it feels like he is trying to REPLACE Tess. Oh my God...my heart is breaking and I still wish I went with her in March sometimes.
Today my brother in law told me that friends of theirs had their little girl this week. I am a horrible person because I wished it was them and not us...I don't think I believe in Hell in an afterlife anymore...I think that this is my Hell.
I just want normal again.