Triggers? (loss, M/C, living child ment.)
Over the years I have made my fair share of trips to the ER with my boys (6 & 3).
It is a small town ER and treats the golf ball size goose egg on the head, the middle of the night ear infection and the 104 degree fevers. Each time I go, I dread the triage room as it sits kitty corner to “the bathroom”. It is the place I knew back in May of 2002 I was loosing my first baby. I was sent into “the bathroom” to put on a pad as I was bleeding on the floor and they did not have a room to put me. It feels like I am sent back in time to that awful moment and it triggers all those memories.
So, I ask. What are some of your triggers? Is there a place? A word? A smell that is a trigger for you?
children ment, death ment
I am on the local fire department. Whenever we get called to a scene involving an infant, I get triggered. Once, we got called to a home for a baby who was not breathing. He looked perfect when we got there. He was dead. We could not save him and I wouldn't let my guys work on him because I didn't want his poor mama to have to deal with his broken body. I can still remember her screams.
I also get triggered by some church services. Other people's grief can trigger me. Certain dates can trigger me. It is better now than it used to be. It's been 25 years and I still go through periods of deep darkness.