I got a call from my Dr. yesterday. My u/s is clear after my natural m/c on Wednesday. No D&C needed. Yay! Small blessings right. My HCG levels are still wierd so I have to get more bloodwork done on Monday to see if they are down by then. I'm assuming they will be becuase I have no idea what would happen if they weren't. I'm looking forward to the bleeding stopping. It's been going since Friday. Of course, it;s only spotting now but still. I hate the constant reminder. I'm trying to deal with the physical side of things still in hopes that once I'm done with the physical, I'll have enough time away from it that the emotional isn't so bad. I'm still on the why stage and I'm still angry. Sometimes, I have moments where I forget that I lost the baby and I think "I can't do that - I'm pregnant" and then I remember that I'm not. Those are the worst. I didn't realise that I had so many plans in my head. I don't feel guilty or like I did anything to cause this m/c and I guess that's good but I'm so sad. My hubby is going away for four days on the 21st. I'm terrified of being on my own for that long. Yesterday was my first day home alone all day and it was such a long day. Without any distractions it was hard. So far, I've been too busy to dwell but without him around, that's probably all I'll be doing. Thanks for letting me rant.
Hooray about your clear u/s! And ugh, yes -- those emotions are so hard, and all of those thoughts! (grrrrrr) I remember it well. It will truly get better, you'll see. I wouldn't have wanted to be without DH so early after the loss either. He and I are very close: we even work together (our own business).
From the 21st, please log in here and let us know how you're doing. Do it every day if you feel like it. We're here for you. Also, if I were you I'd plan to do something special every day while DH is away; things which I enjoy (like):
A long walk,
The gym or the beach,
A new book or something nice to wear,
A new CD and listening to it (upbeat music! not the blues...),
A new movie (again, not a sad one. Comedy, action, etc)
Lunch with my best friend,
Phoning someone I haven't spoken with in a long time
Trying out a new recipe,
It won't replace the time with DH but it will make it go a little quicker. Take it easy. We're going to help you through this.
I agree with you- you have to celebrate the little, daily victories. And finding out that you will not need a D&C is a victory indeed! I'm sorry that your DH is going to be out of town. As the PPs said, please try to stay busy, treat yourself to things like your favorite foods, a long walk, a bubble bath, a manicure, etc. And please post here and let us know how things are going. My DH is going out of town for a week at the end of the month also, and that's my plan. Just know that whatever you decide to do will be the right thing.
Bleeding -tell me about it! I'm going on almost THREE weeks of this crap. It's just spotting now like you, but it IS a constant reminder. I'm really looking forward to the day it totally stops, and I agree, it'll be one more step forward.
And when your dh is gone, totally come in here and check in if you need to!